Page 43 of Catching Mr. Right

Chapter Eighteen

CASPER

Mandy: Cas, are you busy? Can you come get me?

I don’t know.

Mandy: Please.

Is everything okay?

Mandy: I think so. I don’t know. I’m not sure.

Where are you?

Mandy: I’m at home. At Summer’s. Honk when you’re here.

Be there soon.

Mandy slips through the front door, locks it behind her and makes her way to my truck. She’s still wearing her costume from earlier this evening. I grip the steering wheel tighter as she climbs into the cab and her skirt lifts a little high. I catch a glimpse of ass cheek as she settles into the seat and crosses her legs. Fuck, she has no idea how many times I’ve wanted to bend her over the kitchen counter while we’re working and spank that sexy ass for not paying attention. My palm itches to swat across that firm, supple flesh.

“How was your date with Sam Sweets?” I pull the truck out of the driveway, turn toward the ranch. I ask to make small talk, not because I want to know. If anything, the last thing I want is to hear about what they did, but it’s weird to be taking her home with me at this time of night. Not that it’s late. It’s barely nine-thirty. “I didn’t think you’d be done with him this early.”

“I’m dating you, remember,” she says quietly.

“Faking it,” I correct. Wish I could forget.

“Yeah. We’re great at faking.” She props one pink wedge on the dash, her thigh completely exposed. Along with a flash of white leotard between her legs.

So unladylike. So fucking hard to ignore. I tamp down on the urge to run my fingers along the curve of her thigh. “Are you going to tell me about it?”

“He propositioned me.” She bites her thumb and stares out the window. “Asked me to spend the night with him.”

My heart gives a sickening lurch before I remember she’s here in my truck. Not in a hotel bed with him. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I wanted him to love me,” she whispers. I barely hear her over the hum of the engine. She speaks a little louder. “I want someone who will love me, Cas. Who will be there through thick and thin and whatever else comes our way. I-I’ve never had that stability in my life. I want it more than anything. That’s why it has to be him, right? Because he can provide that. He wants to settle down. He’s content with the idea of being content. He’s amazing with his sister. He’s Mister Right for a reason. When he asked me to go back to his hotel room, it would have been so easy, but it’s not enough. I wanted him to want to be with me. Really be with me, even if it’s never some heart stopping whirlwind romance.”

“You’re worried he’s not going to?” Because she’s wrong. I saw the way he looked at her in the barn. It’s only time that stands between her and what she wants. If she’d gone back to his hotel tonight it would have been the beginning of the end. I’m just glad I won’t still be here to watch it happen. The summer’s going to wind down in another few weeks and I’ll take Soldier and find temporary work in a new town, a new kitchen.

“What if it’s not enough?” She turns bright eyes on me. “What if stability isn’t enough? What if belonging isn’t enough? You loved hard, Cas.”

“I couldn’t breathe without her,” I mutter. But I’m not so sure now. Maybe it was infatuation, maybe it was all one sided. I would have waited for her forever, but she was more in love with her career than she was with me. It’s odd to come to that conclusion after so long. I loved her enough for both of us. Loved her as hard as she would let me and more. And she gave me as much of her as she could, but I was never going to be the love of her life, and the realization doesn’t hurt half as much as I expected it would.

“Was it worth it?” She worries the side of her thumb. “Was trusting your heart over your head worth it?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Would I go back and do it again with Juliette? I’m not sure. Would I toss caution to the wind for the girl sitting in the cab with me? This flesh and blood girl who is so full of life. Who is so outspoken and brave about who she is and what she wants. She pulls me apart and slots the pieces back together in a new way that makes the past a little less who I am. For her it would be worth it. I’d trust my heart with her if she asked for it. In a heartbeat. But that isn’t what she wants to hear.

“Me either.” She falls quiet as I pull into the driveway of the ranch.

I park the truck on the gravel near the barn and slide from behind the wheel to go and open the door for her. She jumps from the cab, and I put my arm around her to steady her. A grumbling noise comes from her belly.

“Hungry?”

“A bit. I didn’t stick around for dinner.”

“There’s some leftover lamb in the kitchen. I’ll make you a sandwich.” I push open the kitchen door for her.

She steps inside our space and hesitates. Glancing around she brings her gaze to me. Her green eyes are troubled. “Cas?”