Page 38 of Catching Mr. Right

Chapter Sixteen

CASPER

“I’m sorry, your fiancée didn’t make it.”

“It appears she suffocated.”

“The police would like to have a word with you when you’re ready. They have a few questions they’d like you to answer if you can.”

“There’ll be an inquest. They’ll do an autopsy.”

“The coroner’s report couldn’t confirm the cause of death. It’s possible she suffocated, but there was also alcohol and other toxins in her blood. Not enough to overdose on, but her reactions would have been impaired. Do you know if she regularly took horse tranquilizers?”

“You’re free to go, Mr. Morgan. It’s unclear if the position she died in had any bearing on the event. No charges will be laid against you.”

“Such unfortunate circumstances. It was an accident.”

“An accident.”

“A freak accident.”

That’s what they said. I still can’t wrap my head around how it could be an accident though. I was culpable, damn it. I should have been able to tell something was wrong, and not been so lost in the moment that I couldn’t see her dying right in front of my eyes.

My chest constricts so painfully I almost bow to it. There’s no getting away from this conversation. Once Mandy sets her mind to something she’s impossible to dissuade her. It’s one of the things that draws me in so fucking hard. When did my care for the girl start to outweigh my memories? “She died right in front of me. Juliette. My fiancée. About eighteen months ago. We were…she was…”

Her hands land on my shoulders and turn me to her. She’s like an angel with all that silvery blonde hair puffed up around her face in a tangled web of knots from rubbing against the tree. Putting her arms around my waist, she holds onto me as she presses her cheek to my chest. Can she hear how hard my heart beats? Can she hear each breath that rattles my ribs?

“I don’t even know where to begin.” I let out a strangled laugh. “You might not even believe me.”

“I’ll believe you, Cas. You’ve never told me anything that wasn’t true. Except for when you were calling me stupid, and even then it was more the wrong choice of words.”

“I shouldn’t have called you that.” I curl an arm around her shoulders and hold her tightly to me for a moment. “Because it isn’t true. Far from it, in fact. You’re smart and determined, and I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I was such a jerk to you.”

“You don’t want anyone getting close.”

No, that’s not it exactly. I grip her arms and hold them at her sides as I pull back. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt. Juliette died because of me. I don’t care what anyone else says. Things like that don’t just happen.”

“Cas, you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Fuck, Mandy. She choked to death on my dick.”

The words explode from me like an atomic bomb and I have to turn away from her. I stumble a few steps before I can look at her again. “She suffocated while we were…while she was…I killed her with my penis.”

Mandy laughs. It starts as a giggle. Her eyes wide, she covers her mouth with her hand to stifle the sound. All that does is make her laugh harder until her shoulders start to shake and her eyes water. “You’re making this up, right? This is your elaborate excuse to not have sex with me?”

“I lost my fiancée because of my fucking dick. She died, Mandy. For fuck’s sake, can you stop laughing?” I want to grab her and shake some sense into her. I’m telling her my deepest darkest regrets, my secrets, and she laughs at me?

“Trying.” She pants. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Not trying to be mean.” She holds her hand out to me. “But come on, Cas. Surely it wasn’t because of your dick. It’s big and you’re rough, but there has to be more to it, doesn’t there? I mean you can’t be that big.”

“Can’t I?” I grit my teeth and tug on the zip then shove my pants down and let it all fucking hang out.

She stops laughing immediately. Her eyes grow huge in her pretty face. So much bigger than they were over finding out why I can’t be with her. Her mouth forms an O and then she whispers, “Wow. It’s not even hard.”

“Believe me now?”

“No.” She tilts her head to the side and wraps a strand of her hair around her finger while her gaze is glued to my cock.

“You should.” I grab my pants to pull them back up.

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