Page 36 of Catching Mr. Right

He stares at me as all the color leaches from his skin. His face, his hands, his magnificent torso all pale. “Yup.” He carves tracks in his dark hair with his fingers. “That’s exactly how big.”

Then he pivots on his heel and heads straight for Soldier.

“Wait up,” I plead, following after him. “Please explain it to me?”

“Nope.” Swinging onto the horse’s back he barks a command and… the horse doesn’t move.

I cant my head to the side and try to comprehend what’s happening. Man and beast have always been in sync until now. This is the first time his horse hasn’t done exactly what he’s told it to do.

“Come on, you stubborn ass.” Cas smacks the stallion’s flank with his palm. It shifts from hoof to hoof but doesn’t move an inch forward.

“Please talk to me.” I sidle up to the two of them. “I don’t understand how this can be such a big deal.”

“You wouldn’t.” He pushes the heel of his boots into Soldier’s side. The horse still refuses to move.

I reach out and stroke my hand down its smooth neck, which is rougher under my palm than I expected. This is the closest I’ve gotten to the four-legged beast. The closest Cas has ever let me get. “Is it because it’s me? You don’t want to have sex with me?”

“Fucking hell,” he swears softly under his breath. That deep pain that sometimes takes over his face is etched on it now. His shoulders slump and he reaches for me. “Come on then.”

I slip my hand into his, and he grips it tight, pulling me up behind him. Soldier moves forward a few steps and Cas brings my hands around his waist, lacing them over his lap. “Hold on.”

Resting my cheek against his sundrenched shoulder, I tighten my grip while Soldier takes off into the field beyond the yard.

I can’t believe I’m twenty-three years old and this is the first time I’ve ever ridden a horse. I should have done this a long time ago. Soldier flies through the field, the powerful equine moving with animalistic grace, and Cas feels like a part of the animal with how well he rides, despite my clinging to him. I scream when he spurs Soldier on and we fly over a low fence, a fallen tree. I shut my eyes when we duck to avoid a broken branch. We don’t slow down until the open field is so far behind us I can’t see it. And in front of us is forest. Trees and rocks and scraggy landscape that veers sharply up on one side of us. At that point we slow, swaying together with each step as Soldier picks his way along a dry creek bed.

Cas’s skin is damp against my own from the heat, and several flies land on his shoulders. I brush them away and his muscles jump under my hand, then he eases into my touch. So I don’t stop. I explore the hard muscles of his shoulders, the bumps of his spine, the pictures that wind their way down his side. A grapevine, a ring, a knife; everything tumbling and falling and melting into one of those huge pots he likes to use in the kitchen. “These are figurative, aren’t they? Your scars?”

“A roadmap,” he grumbles. “Of where I’ve been. I didn’t always think of them as scars. They were the moments. The important ones. The highlights. Things I never wanted to forget.”

“Is this Soldier?” I trace the gray dappled stallion.

“Yup.”

“And this?” I point to the knife.

“The first time I got my own set of chef’s knives.”

“And the four stars in a line?” I press my fingertip to each one.

“Michelin stars.” He straightens up. I can practically tell from the way he shifts that he’s proud of them.

“What about the girl?” I bite my lip. She has a story hidden in that top hat, I’m sure. The idea of someone being as close to Cas as I’ve gotten over the summer doesn’t sit right. I don’t know why. Soon I’ll be happily dating Sam, and I want Cas to be happy. He’s one of the nicest people I know when he’s not grouching. He’s my very best friend these days. Of course I want him to be happy with somebody else. Don’t I?

“Get off,” he says, his spine rigid.

“A touchy subject?” Sometimes I talk too much, and I should think about what I say in advance, but I never do.

“Off,” he repeats gruffly, but then he twists and helps me off Soldier’s back before joining me on the ground.

“What are we doing here?” My thighs are partly numb from riding. They’ll probably hurt tomorrow, but it will be worth it. “Are you going to explain why the idea of having sex with me is so horrifying?”

Cas moves toward me, but he doesn’t answer my question.

“It’s only two naked, sweaty bodies getting off together. It’s just your dick in my vagina.” It might be a little more than I’m making out with the words that are coming out of my mouth and the hammering of my pulse as he walks me back.

He growls as my butt meets one of the thick tree trunks.

The gnarled bark scratches roughly at my skin. “It’s no different from when I fuck myself with my vibrator, surely? We’ve kissed a couple times. I thought maybe you were attracted to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked. Did I get it wrong? Why don’t you say anything?”

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