Page 103 of Grave Matter

Am I safe when I don’t know you at all?I think.You lied to me. You have blood on your shoes.

Does he have blood on his hands?

“Good morning, sunshine.”

I groan, stirring until my head erupts in pain, as if someone is beating a drum inside. I blink my eyes open to see the hatch above me. But there is no sun. Only dark clouds that move quickly in the sky. The boat moves up and down, water sloshing against the sides and the dock.

I slowly turn my head to see Kincaid sitting in a seat in the corner of the cabin, a mug of something that smells like mint tea in his hand. He has dark circles etched under his eyes, his stubble turning into a beard. He looks exhausted, which makes me imagine I must look worse.

“Don’t try to get up right away or make any sudden movements,” he warns me, voice stern yet quiet. “You’ll be groggy for a while. I have no idea how much of the sedative Everly gave you, but it was close to a dangerous amount. You were out cold all night long.”

I try to swallow, but my mouth feels like cotton. All the events from last night bubble to the surface, and I try to swat themaway, not wanting to face them, not wanting my perception of Kincaid to change.

But it already has. My heart feels heavy.

So terribly heavy.

“I’m sorry,” he says, reading my face. “I truly am.” He helps me to sit upright, slowly, then hands me the mug of tea before sitting back down.

“You lied to me.” I breathe in sharply, preparing for the pain. “Did you kill Clayton?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

He shrugs with one shoulder, looking down at his hands. “Because whatever trust of yours I had, I’ve lost it. Simple as that, Syd.”

I take a sip of the tea, letting it warm my throat, trying to gather my thoughts before I swallow it down. “Why did you lie to me?”

He exhales through his nose. “NDAs.” He gives me a pained look. “Sorry. It’s the truth.”

“So now it’s a matter ofyounot trusting me,” I tell him.

“For all I know, you might leave on the first seaplane right after the storm. Tell the world what you saw here. I advise against that, by the way. Not the part about leaving on the seaplane—that I recommend. I mean about breaking the contract. They will sue you, and even if you think you have nothing to give, they will find something. Do you understand me, Syd? They will make it their mission to utterly destroy you.” He pauses. “They will kill you, figuratively. One way or another.”

I gulp, fear tickling my ribs. “You recommend I leave?”

He leans back and runs his hand over his jaw back and forth, the stubble scratchy. “I’ll have to come with you on the plane. But yes. I think you should leave.”

I blink at him in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“When am I not?” he says, staring at me. “Soon as the storm clears, I’ll get you on the first flight out of here.”

“And you’ll come too? Just leave your boat and your job and go?”

“I’ll have to come back at some point. Maybe I can only leave for a few days, but yes. I’ll take care of you, Syd. I told you I would. I’ll help you get settled wherever it is you want. You won’t have to worry about finances, you won’t have to worry about anything.”

“Except I will have to worry about my friends up here at Madrona Lodge. Are they in trouble too?”

He keeps his eyes locked on mine for a moment, not saying anything. Then he gives his head a shake. “No.”

I let out a shaky exhale. My nerves are so frayed that I can feel them snapping one by one, until nothing will hold me together.

“They drugged me because I knew the truth about Clayton,” I say. “They wanted to shut me up. But they were also taking me somewhere. Michael said something about looking at my brain…”

He nods. “Yes. They would have hooked you up to an EEG. Measured your brain waves.”

“But they know I was telling the truth,” I say. “So why do that? Was it a threat?”

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