Page 42 of A Vow of Shadows

“You would care about your looks as well if they were holding you back from the life you desire.”

“I thought it was the threat of Death holding you back.” Leaning against the door to the carriage, he folded his arms across his chest, the gesture daring me to argue with him.

“No, not exactly. It’s true I don’t want to die. In some ways, I fear Death, but we’re all dying, present company excluded.” Evander’s face betrayed no emotions, but he dipped his chin and I continued. “What I truly feared was dying without living. You might not remember, but people can be quite horrible when they don’t understand something.” I glanced down at the hand permanently wreathed in shadows. “They thought I was diseased or cursed. I was marked and suddenly, I was no longer human. I no longer mattered. Suddenly, everything I’d been looking forward to had become unattainable. It wasn’t long before their prejudices began to sound like gospels. People thought me unworthy and I became so. Yes, I hid from Death, but I was also hiding from myself.”

Silence stretched until the air between us was fragile with strain.

Evander cleared his throat and I glanced up as he shoved his hands in hidden pockets. “For the record, I think you are rather nice to look at.”

It was an echo of the sentiment I’d confessed to Eunice earlier that night. Whether he meant it or was just trying to make me feel better, his words were a rainbow on a rainy day. I capturedmy bottom lip between my teeth, trying to contain the smile that threatened to betray my true feelings.

“Black teeth and all.” He grinned.

I lunged, but Evander was faster. My hand passed through the shadows left in his wake, and I scrambled to keep from falling out of the carriage as his laughter filled the space around me. The door eased shut as by an invisible hand and we lurched into motion.

Though the forest beyond my window was dark as pitch, I felt lighter than I had in a long time. An unfamiliar feeling bubbled inside me, like being tickled, only deeper and less intense. If I had to put a name to it, I’d say I was giddy.

The scene beyond my window returned to the sparse trees and heavy fog of The Between. By comparison, I was radiant. My cheeks ached from being pulled up so long. I clamped my lips together to contain my smile, feeling like a fool as I grinned through the liminal space.

“This part of The Between is called The Corridor.” Evander’s voice was muffled by the layers of cloth and carriage between us.

It was as good a name as any for the road that stretched into eternity.

“You can’t see them, but there are doorways branching off in every direction. Portals to other parts of The Between, the dwellings of other reapers—”

“There are more of you?”

He laughed, and I wondered if he also felt the lightening effects of a job well done. “Thousands, all over the world.”

My mouth opened on a silentoh.

Thousandsof reapers. I didn’t want to consider what would have happened if I’d met a different reaper on the crossroads that night. What were the chances that I lived in Evander’s territory? I didn’t know when I set out that night that luck was on my side in the form of a long-held grudge and a quest forfreedom. I could just as easily have met a reaper who was loyal to Death and been delivered promptly to him.

The desolate forest blurred past us, each tree as unremarkable as the last. “How do you know which turn to take? I would never find my way home in this place.”

“I am pulled towardTyr Anigh, just as I am pulled toward the souls that I must ferry. Eventually, you’ll notice the differences, little markers left by other reapers, signs of space beyond. It gets easier.”

He spoke as if I’d be staying in The Between indefinitely or traveling it frequently on my own. “I think I’ll leave that part to you,” I said. “No need to fill my head with nonsense.” They were my mother’s words and they tasted foul on my tongue. I didn’t think it was nonsense, but learning those things, seeking out the knowledge that would help me navigate this place on my own, it felt like too much commitment when I planned to leave some day soon.

My comment landed like a bucket of ice water, shocking us both into silence for the remainder of the ride.

Chapter 29

The Ferrier

When we’d returned toTyr Anigh, Katrin had parted without a word. The shadows informed me she’d gone to her room and fallen asleep. I attempted to rest as well, all the while tormented by thoughts of her that bordered on obsessive. The way her soft, pliant body molded to my hands. How she leaned into me even when she didn’t realize she was doing it. Her quick retorts and easy smile.

She saw me and did not balk from the creature I’d become. Though the occasional seed of doubt took root, they withered when exposed to the truth.

That evening, I was grateful not to feel the pull of another soul in need. For so long, I’d looked forward to ferrying as a chance to escape and reenter the world of the living. No matter how many times I went back, it never felt like home again. With Katrin here, I enjoyed the living world less and less. Ferrying was a wall between us that clearly defined us as monster and mortal. The only bright side to last night’s visit had been the glow on her face after she’d helped Eunice. In that moment, I’d seen a future, aneternity with Katrin by my side, working together. It was a nice image, until she’d called me back to reality.

Just as well. Behyrn would have taken one look at our partnership and hauled her away—mark or no.

I dragged myself from the bed around an hour before sunset and went in search of Katrin. Even knowing I should put distance between us and spend some time reinforcing my inner walls, I couldn’t stay away.

I’d been informed she was back in the library but stopped at the kitchen to grab some bread and cheese on my way there. Unlike the last time, Katrin was very much awake when I found her pouring over stacks of books.

“Found something you like?” I asked and set the food beside her.

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