Page 174 of Sinful Games

He kept it?

Tucked in the corner of the box was the infamous poker coin I handed him ages ago at his casino after I made that snarky comment about him being Igor’s pet.

Butterflies fluttered in my chest, but it felt more like a punch. I can’t believe he kept it…Oh, Alexsei.

Then my brows creased slightly as my eyes landed on dozens of letters tied together with a red ribbon. I seized the letters, sifting through them one by one, each bearing a date. My stomach sank to my toes as I reached for the oldest one, dated the day after I left him and ran away

With trembling hands, I unfolded it carefully.

Hi moya solnyshka,

I don’t even know where to fucking start. It feels like the world is crumbling around me, and I'm just standing in the wreckage, alone and shattered. The day you left me was the day the sun went out, and every breath since the moment you walked out that door has been a damn struggle to survive.

I can still hear Lukyan's laughter echoing through these empty rooms, your cries haunting me in the days after his funeral. Your name and his have been leaving my lips in a silent scream ever since. You were my light, baby, and he was my salvation. And now everything is silent, dark, and fucking cold.

How could you leave me, Caia? How could you fucking abandon me? I keep asking myself this, but deep down, I’d abandon me too if I could. One of the biggest tragedies of my life is that no matter where I go, here I fucking am.

How am I supposed to go on without you?

How am I supposed to fucking breathe when each breath feels like it's ripping me apart?

I love you more than life itself, Caia. More than words can fucking explain. I would have done anything for you, given everything I had just to see you smile. But now that smile is just a distant memory, a cruel fucking joke mocking me in the silence of the night.

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this letter, or if you’ll ever grasp the pain you’ve caused me on top of losing Lukyan. But I needed to get this out, to pour out the agony that consumes me, to scream into the fucking void and hope that somewhere, somehow, you’ll hear me.

I miss you, baby. God, how I fucking miss you. I’m clinging tothe hope that one day, soon, our souls will find each other again, even as I feel my sanity slipping away.

If I fall, Caia, it’s only because I’m searching for you, ready to lose myself in the depths if it means finding you.

I love you. Always.

Yours in agony,

Alexsei

I folded the letter, the weight of his words cutting deeper into my already splintered heart. I slipped it back with the others, the ribbon pressing against my trembling fingers as I placed them back into the box. Taking a shaky breath, I shut the lid and gently set it aside.

Without a sound, I stood and left the room, closing the door softly behind me.

I made my way to the guest room and stumbled into the bathroom. Stripping off my clothes with numb, mechanical movements, I turned the shower on and sank to the cool tiles of the floor, the water pouring down on me from above.

I sat there for what felt like hours.

Gosh, what have you done, Caia?

“I came as soon as I could,” he said, sounding breathless, like he’d just sprinted a marathon. “And guess what? I brought your favorite! A smoked salmon cream cheese bagel with...,” he paused for dramatic effect, rummaging through the bag, “Barbecue Lay's chips!”

My eyes widened in excitement. “From Bagels & Jo?”

He nodded with a smirk. “Yep, I knew this would cheer you up.”

I hugged him tight, feeling a rush of gratitude and joy. “Steven, you’re an absolute godsend.”

After my mental breakdown in the shower, I cleaned up, put on some pajamas, and tried to sleep the pain away. But then Steven called, asking if he could drop off my recent check from the Gregs. Hearing my voice, he could tell I wasn’t doing great, so he just said, “I’m coming over. End of story.”

And here he was, breathless, with that sweet smile on his face and one of my favorite foods in hand.

He laughed and took a seat in one of the kitchen chairs. “Anything for you, pretty girl! Now, let’s dig in and make this day a little brighter.”

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