Page 162 of Sinful Games

"I'm done. Do you need... help?" she asked, her timing impeccable. She wore a black silk pajama set, chestnut hair tied back in a ponytail. No makeup, just her natural beauty shining through, making her look so young.

"Nyet. Just sit and eat."

She nodded, padding barefoot to the table, resting her hands on her lap.

"Thank you, Alexsei. This is too much?—"

"Caia, eat."

She smiled and dove in.

We ate in silence, stealing glances at each other, quickly looking away when caught. Caia picked at her food, while Istruggled to break the heavy silence. Finally, unable to bear it, I cleared my throat. "Caia, there's something I need to ask you."

She set her spoon down, her eyes locking onto mine—curiosity and apprehension swirling within. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "Are you... happy?"

Inwardly, I cursed myself.

Fuck, Alexsei, you’re such a fucking idiot!

But I needed to know. I had to know if she had truly moved on, if I was too late. For a moment, the world stood still as her gaze searched mine.

Then, a small, sad smile tugged at her lips. "No, I am not, Alexsei," she whispered, barely audible.

Relief washed over me, twisted as it was. At least we stood on equal ground in our unhappiness. With both of us at rock bottom, the only way left was up.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed forward. "What's been going on in your life?"

She hesitated, her eyes darting away as if grappling for the right words. "I've moved to New York after..." Her voice trailed off, spoon swirling through her soup.

After Lukyan died. After she left me.

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

A hint of gratitude flickered in her eyes. "Anyway, I work for a private company now, alongside four other photographers. My job mostly involves weddings, birthdays, and bachelorette parties. Sometimes, I even capture animals in zoos," she admitted softly, a faint laugh escaping her lips.

But then, just as quickly as her smile appeared, I noticed tears pooling in her eyes. She reached for her glass, her hand trembling, but before she could take a sip, that faint laughter crumbled into sobs, her head bowing low as she struggled to contain her emotions.

"Caia..." My voice trailed off, heart clenching at her pain.Without hesitation, I moved to her side, wrapping my arms around her. "Shh, it’s okay," I murmured, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she cried.

Her sobs were uncontrollable, each one wrenching through her, stealing the air from her lungs. "Alexsei, I’msosorry for everything, I—" She choked on her words, unable to finish.

My chest tightened. “Caia?—”

Her cries grew louder, each word cracking with sorrow. "Please forgive me for leaving you alone," she pleaded, voice shaking. "I just... I thought you'd hate me for not protecting our baby, for still being alive while he's gone..."

Fuck. Hearing her like this was like a knife twisting in my gut. She thought I’d hate her? I’d spent countless nights haunted by the loss, battling my demons, but hating her? No way in hell.

How could she think that? My heart ached for her, but anger simmered beneath the surface too. Why the hell did she have to carry this burden alone? I’d have fought the world for her, and here she was, drowning in guilt while I stood right beside her.

"Caia, listen to me," I whispered, voice barely audible over her cries.

She shook her head, hands covering her face as she wept. “I can’t... I hate myself for what I did to you, Alexsei.”

No. I didn’t want her to hate herself. I wanted her to see the strength in surviving this nightmare.

"You don’t have to apologize," I murmured. "You did everything you could to survive. You were so strong, Caia—stronger than you'll ever know."

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