Page 83 of My Bully's Crush: Vol1

“Don’t you dare talk to me as if I’m having a mental breakdown?I’m very clear about what’s going on.Right now, I need you to leave.If you don’t leave, Ryder, this will be the end of us.”

“No!”

“No?What do you mean no?”When she started looking around in a huff, I knew she was looking for something to hit me with.That temper of hers still hasn’t gotten any better.I knew, though, that she needed time.Something I wouldn’t have understood before, but since I was trying to be a better man for her, I thought it prudent to give in, just this once.

“I’ll leave your bed, but I won’t leave you here in this house alone, not knowing what I know now.I can’t leave you here on your own.”

“Fine, I’ll hire security or something, but I don’t want you here.”

Could’ve fooled me.She damn near drained me with her greedy ass, and now she’s kicking me out of her bed.I didn’t say that out loud because she really would hurt me, and I didn’t mention how hot she was when she was mad for the same reason.

“No way.I walked away from you once.I will never do that again.And another thing, no one will protect you like I can.I need a shower anyway; go back to sleep.”Crazy ass woman.

She threw a few more insults at my head as I left the bed and headed for the en suite bathroom, hiding my smile of victory before she did me bodily harm.She forgets how well I know her, and I know her reaction was out of fear.Fear of me hurting her again, something I have no intention of ever doing again.

But there was something else I knew.Elena only acts like this when she cares deeply.If she really wanted me gone, she would never have let me see her vulnerability, she’d have been cold and detached, and I’d have felt lower than a roach when she was done with me.

The smile disappeared as soon as I entered the bathroom and turned the shower on.The day’s events came down on me hard, and I was finally able to breathe.All at once, everything came crashing down on me, not just the last five years but these past few months when I was fighting so hard to get back to her.

I went into the shower and cried bitter tears of regret.Tears I’d been holding in for way too long but was afraid to give in because I knew they wouldn’t stop once they started.I cried for us, and what we’d lost and for the pain I’d caused her.

I cried for the innocence I’d stolen from her and for the girl she used to be.I cried for the life we should’ve had together, but mostly I cried for the pain I’d caused her because of my own ignorance.I cried hard enough to leave the old me behind on her shower floor in my tears, just letting it all flow out of me, making room for the man I was becoming.

I didn’t feel the first bite of pain when my hand connected with the marble wall the first time or when the blood flowed from my torn flesh to mix with the water’s warmth.That, too, was my way of releasing the pain of the past, and when I dunked my head under the water’s flow, it was to wash away the last dregs of a past I never want to revisit.

By the time I turned the water off, I’d cried the old me out of my system.I’ll give her all the time she needs to work her anger and resentment out of her system, but I’m never leaving her again.

Chapter 47

*Elena*

Shit, shit, shit, what the hell have I done?How could I be so stupid?

In all my daydreams, I never imagined things turning out this way.Killing him on sight, yeah, but not once did I ever imagine jumping into bed with him the first chance I got.I wish I was the kind of woman who’d see this as getting some of my own back.

I don’t know all the particulars of their divorce, but I’m almost certain that something sinister is going on or that nut would’ve been all over the news having killed someone, either him or me.

The fact that she hadn’t come knocking on my door tells me that something strange was at play.

I don’t think Ryder would’ve lied to me about the divorce, so my guess is those men he told me about had a hand in whatever was going on here.I should’ve asked more questions, but it’s too late for that now, isn’t it?

As soon as he disappeared into the bathroom, I high-tailed it to the guest bath down the hall.

Well, I moved as fast as I could since muscles that had lain dormant for five years gave and pulled with each step I took.I think that freak had grown in size since the last time we made love.Either that or I’d grown smaller.

It was only in the shower that I realized there was so much I still wanted to ask him, but I’d be damned if I was asking him anything now after making a fool of myself.

My face heated with embarrassment when I remembered how I’d clung to him, how I’d cried out his name when I came, and how much I’d enjoyed myself.Something else I wish I could be was the kind of woman who could have casual sex and move on with my day.

But I had never been the type, and I wasn’t about to start now.Neither was I going to tell him that he’d improved his technique.I looked down with a scowl at my silent friend after soaping her up.This bitch never could learn a damn lesson if her life depended on it where his worthless hide was concerned.“Fool!Now, you’re sore and red.Serves you right.”

Good heavens, I’m talking to my cooch.I think I might need an emergency meeting with my therapist, but I’ve never felt so aware and in tune with myself.But why does it always have to be him?

This time was not much different from all the other times in the past when we’d break up and come back together like a moth to a flame.

For someone like me who believed in a higher power and fate, I knew that somewhere in there was a message that he was the one.I’ve always believed that even when things were at their worst between us.Even believing it, there were times that I’d had enough and just couldn’t take another step forward with the relationship.

But I’m not the one who broke our bond this time, and I’ve never been the reason in the past.It’s true that in the past, because of outside interference like my family and friends, I had broken things off with him a couple of times because of his erratic behavior.But I always came back to him, or he to me, because we were never any good without each other.

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