Page 88 of Prodigal

The office door opened abruptly and he jerked his head up as André walked in.

“We need to talk.” He didn’t spare Samir a glance. His gaze, a heavy mix of sadness and defiance, rested on Gideon.

It made his heart race, dampened his palms, and had him swallowing. “We-we’re in a meeting.”

André scowled. “I don’t care.”

Gideon had to dig his heels into the floor to keep from getting to his feet and going to him. Touching him. Fucking him. They hadn’t been intimate since that disaster of a night, and he missed André like he knew he would miss his right hand if it were no longer a part of him.

They stared each other down, he and André, the silence thick and oppressive until Samir stood and cleared his throat. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

Gideon didn’t even notice when Samir left. He just blinked and it was the two of them. The defiance and bravado that had once shown in André’s eyes were gone now, and all that was left was the sadness. Hurt too. Gideon didn’t have to ask to know that he was the reason for it.

He was the cause of André hurting.

He snatched his gaze away, dropping it to his desk, and fumbled with some bullshit papers that were scattered on the surface. “You wanted to talk.”

“I want to know what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going?—”

“Bullshit! Bullshit, Gideon.” It was as if someone had popped the cork off a champagne bottle and the liquid came forcefully spraying out. “You haven’t said more than five words to me in days. You haven’t touched me. You can barely look at me.” André’s expression crumbled and he deflated just as quickly as he’d exploded. “What’s going on with us?”

Gideon didn’t know how he could answer that shaky query without burying what they had in a coffin six feet deep.

“Gideon, please.” André took a step forward.

“I just need to figure some stuff out,” he said reluctantly.

“And is that stuff us?” André searched his gaze. “You have to figure us out?” When Gideon didn’t immediately respond, André’s throat worked. “I told you I would never leave you. That I could never hate you.”

“But you can’t promise that.” Gideon shot to his feet, rounding the desk and standing in front of the man he loved. “You can’t promise me that, not when the mere thought of me doing to him what he did to my mother has you crying and begging for his life.”

André turned ashen.

“If I do what’s always been the plan, I will lose you.” That was a surety he felt down to his bones. “Maybe not right away, but I will. Because no matter the words you say, my love, you want him in your life. You want what you never had. And I love you too much to knowingly deprive you of your heart’s desire.” He’d had his father’s love, as difficult as it had been at times while hidden away. He’d always known Aldo loved him. Had always felt it. He cupped André’s face, swiping away the tear that streaked down his cheek. “But if I don’t, if I let it go…”

The thought of disappointing his father, of not following through on the promise he’d made his mother that day while her blood soaked his knees and tears blinded him. The thought of allowing the perpetrators who’d taken so much from him, who’dtaken something so precious and irreplaceable as his mother’s love and presence in his life, to go free. To live unscathed.

He didn’t know how he could stand it.

“I don’t know what to do,” he confessed in an agonized whisper, forehead touching André’s. “I don’t know what to do.”

André’s arms went around him, holding Gideon in much the same way as he’d done that night on the yacht.

What was he willing to lose? Which pain could Gideon better endure? Because when André held him like this, Gideon swore he’d be willing to give up everything.

Everything.

Except the safety of André’s embrace.

28

And there it was,the truth he’d been too scared to face.

André buried his face in Gideon’s neck, squeezing his eyes shut. He’d known it. From the moment he’d felt the distance between them, he’d known the cause. He just didn’t know the cure, or if there even was one for what they faced. He could deny everything Gideon just said, about André truly wanting Ennis in his life, but that would be a lie, and he wouldn’t knowingly lie to the man he loved.

But he’d believed the words when he’d spoken them back on the yacht. He’d believed that he would be okay with whatever action Gideon decided to take. The Winters family was owed retribution, there was no denying that.

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