Page 86 of Prodigal

So much damage had been done.

And still, the moment he saw Gideon put that gun in Ennis’s face, André had to speak up.

The pain Gideon must feel, André couldn’t begin to imagine it. And the fact that Ennis claimed he’d done it all to protect André made him want to throw up. He was the reason. His life was the reason Gideon’s mother had lost hers. He was alive because she wasn’t.

What was he supposed to do with that? How was he supposed to reconcile that in his mind?

He felt just as broken as Gideon looked, had been just as unprepared to hear the full truth, and now that he had…

What came next?

Could he sit back and watch Gideon kill his father and do nothing? Could he have that on his conscience too?

“Gideon.” André reached for him, because even as fucked up as things looked at the moment, he still wanted to give Gideon comfort, still wanted to be there for him. “I’m so sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say, what else to do, to make it all make sense. It was because of him, because of André, Gideon had to grow up without a mother and had to live in the shadows, hiding from those who wanted to do him harm. How could Gideon even look at him after that? Would he want to be with André after all of this?

Gideon didn’t look at him, didn’t acknowledge his words. Instead, he stood there with the hand holding the gun hanging loose at his side, his head bowed.

“André.”

His body jerked when Ennis said his name.

“Please understand. I had to protect you.” He said it as if that was the only justification any of them needed. “You’re my son.” His voice rose as Samir and the others started dragging him away. “I would do anything for you.”

Anything. He would kill a child and take an innocent woman’s life. For André, who’d asked for none of it.

“André, please. Look at me.”

But André couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t even lift his head. Shame and grief slammed into him and he slapped a hand over his mouth. He’d thought about it, about accepting Ennis into his life. At night while he’d rested in Gideon’s arms, waiting to fall asleep, he’d allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to have Ennis in his life fully. To have his father there, present and claiming him openly. He’d imagined all of it.

Now, there was no chance of that happening.

It felt so much like a loss all over again. Like being abandoned, but so much worse because back then, he hadn’t had a clue who his father was. Now, he knew. Now, he had Ennis claiming to love him, wanting to build a father/son relationship with him. Now, he felt robbed of what could have been.

Maybe he wasn’t meant to have a father. Wasn’t meant to know how it would feel to have that kind of bond. Maybe it just wasn’t for him.

He clutched Gideon’s hand, swallowing down his own pain, his own loss, his own hurt. It wasn’t just his world that had been rocked. Gideon’s had been rocked too. Though the man he loved had been searching for answers, judging by the shock on Gideon’s face and in his posture, André knew Gideon hadn’t expected this.

“What can I do for you?” he asked, wiping his tears. He shifted, releasing Gideon to stand in front of him, lifting his chin with a finger. Anguish bled from Gideon’s eyes when their gazes met. “Tell me what to do for you.” Whatever he could do to atone for what his father had done, though he knew that would be a monumental task.

Gideon stared at him, through him. It was as if he’d become frozen in place. André clasped his face in both hands. “Look at me,” he begged. “Gideon, please. Look at me.”

It took several heartbeats before Gideon seemed to truly focus on him. They weren’t alone, but at that moment it felt as if they were; just the two of them, each man destroyed by what just transpired, but in different ways for different reasons. André was used to not having a father. He was used to that. He could push his pain aside. He could put it on the back burner to be there for Gideon. To be strong as he saw the untouchable Winters weakening under his gaze.

Gideon’s lips moved and André had to strain to make out his words.

“Don’t hate me,” Gideon whispered. “Don’t leave me.” He sounded so fucking broken, grabbing André by the front of his jacket, eyes desperate and pleading now. “Don’t leave me.”

“Never.” André hugged him close, alarmed at the way Gideon’s body shook. “I willneverleave you.” As long as Gideon wanted him, André was staying right where he was. Ennis had taken so much from him already; he couldn’t let him take Gideon too. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He kept whispering it against Gideon’s lips, stopping only when Gideon sagged against him.

The move buckled André’s knees and he dropped, taking Gideon with him. And they stayed on the ground, Gideon shaking uncontrollably in André’s arms, André comforting him while ignoring his own heartbreak.

There werea million things to do. Myriad things pulling Gideon in so many different directions. But he couldn’t even focus on them. Suddenly, he couldn’t make a decision to save his life.

He also couldn’t bring himself to do what he’d become so obsessed with lately—spend time with André and his sister. Because when he looked at André, all he saw was Ennis. And when André’s lips moved, all Gideon heard was the man he loved begging him to spare the life of the person who’d killed his mother.

For André. Ennis said he’d done it for André. Because André’s life had been threatened. Gideon couldn’t believe a fucking thing Ennis said, but he still needed to know the truth. He still needed to know if there was truly someone out there who’d called the shots and pulled the strings that eventually led to his mother’s murder.

Or had Ennis just blurted out something in a last-ditch effort to try and save his miserable life?

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