Page 62 of King of Wrath

I try to open the phone and see the other messages but, of course, I don’t know the code.

“Nia,” Jake calls. “Your cappuccino is getting cold.”

My chin jerks up. I lived a lie for years, but with Jake, I’m so wide open, one look at my face and he’ll know something is wrong.

Then again, I don’t know how we avoid this one.

He made me promises.

I sob into my hand, my knees giving out so that I sink onto the bed. The one on which I just lost my virginity.

My nails dig into my face as I squeeze my eyes shut, the emotion threatens to burst out of me.

All those promises…it’s obvious that he didn’t mean them. How could I be so stupid? A silly little virgin so ready to believe that he loved me. But he was planning on dumping me all along…

All at once, I wonder what that might mean.

Is it drop me at the airport? In the desert?

Is Jake going to hurt me?

My blood runs cold. It’s not like I haven’t experienced a man who I thought loved me deciding I was the enemy.

A wave of grief so strong hits me as I fold my head between my knees, tears leaking out of my eyes. I swipe at the water, mascara and eyeliner smearing on my hand. What a stupid, stupid girl I am.

Another sob rises up in my chest, but I swallow it back down. I was made for this.

I don’t cry. I don’t openly grieve. I just soldier on.

I squeeze my eyes shut, muffling my scream in my leg. What is it about having some hope that makes it harder to live in the darkness of despair?

I suddenly don’t want to do this anymore.

I remember that promise that I asked Jake to make. That he’d kill me rather than give me back to Toni.

He didn’t make it. He said he would never hurt me, and he wasn’t giving me back.

“Nia. Your coffee.” He’s in the door and I clutch the phone to my chest, still bent in half, I keep my head down, like he won’t know somethings wrong if he doesn’t see my face.

“Is everything all right?”

“Fine,” I force my voice to remain even, but I don’t look at him. I can’t. I sink into myself, trying to decide what to do. Confront him? Pretend?

He comes into the room and passes by me. My head automatically lifts to take in the details of his body. He’s shirtless, muscles rippling, and something deep inside me aches.

It’s almost pathetic how much I want to curl into him, even now.

He sets the frothy coffee on the nightstand and turns to me. “Why is your head between your knees?”

I stare at the floor, trying to come up with an answer.

“Nia?”

I shake my head, my throat closing on a lump. I can’t do what I did with Toni. I can’t shut down my emotional side. I just gave Jake my virginity.

I think I might love this man.

The man who’s going to dump me and leave me for Toni to clean up. God, I’m so fucking stupid. This is why I knew I shouldn’t accept his protection. I was better off alone.

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