I wanted to laugh at the attempted new nickname, but I just couldn’t summon the spirit. It wasn’t right. It wasn’tfair. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you sooner.”
He grabbed my hand. “What is it, Robyn?”
“Sydney, she—”
“What’s wrong with Sydney?”
I stared into his terrified eyes, the ones so round that they could have mistaken for volleyballs painted hazel brown. I held his elbows, hanging onto him for dear life while trying to be brave.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said stiffly. “She’s just…She’s your daughter, Cliff.”
His grip lightened. “I…I have…”
“A daughter, yes. You have a daughter.” I felt him tilt back and caught him before he could land on one of the crates. “Look at me—Breathe—”
“I have a daughter.”
I nodded. “It happened the last time you were here. I should have called you, but I heard you hooked up with a group of girls down in D.C. and then I never forgave you for that rumor, and then I got mad, and then—”
He cupped my face firmly. “I have adaughter.”
“You have a daughter.”
He slumped to the ground and took me with him, cradling me in his lap like he was about to start rocking me like a baby. He was quiet for a long time, stiff from clinging to me. I tried to move, but he wouldn’t let me. He lifted his head to speak a few times without saying a word, his expression warping for a moment before going blank again.
Eventually, he scooted back and held me by my shoulders at arm’s length. “You’re sure I’m the father?”
“Cliff, in the years you visited, I never once saw anybody else.”
“Not once?”
I shook my head. “Not one time. You’re the only man I slept with.”
“I honestly feel like a total ass now that I know that. I’m just going to apologize for that right off the bat.”
I laughed. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
“I never asked.”
“I never told you.”
He squeezed my shoulders. “Robyn, I don’t blame you for not calling me. I was just a dumb kid who didn’t know anything about responsibility.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t have to agree with me.”
I smiled weakly. “You didn’t have to stay and challenge the Alpha.”
“Oh, I beg to differ.”
“You better get to begging then.”
He took my chin with a playful firmness I recognized. “No,youought to get to begging—for my forgiveness. You kept the truth from me, Robyn. You left me out.”
I crushed my eyelids closed, squeezing out several tears that had been waiting to fall for a while now. I shoved my face into his chest and tried to breathe, to think, and to get a hold of my emotions. Everything we should have done years ago was being crammed into the smallest amount of time possible. This was a lot to swallow—and at the same time, it was long overdue.
Maybe I didn’t need to try to control the outcome anymore.