Page 61 of Tore Up

“Please. No more,” I pleaded, lifting my head to look at him. “I understand. You don’t have to tell me any more. My family”—I swallowed hard—“wasn’t what I thought they were. I don’t want them in my baby’s life. If that is what you are trying to make mesee, I got it. I can’t listen to more of this.”

Linc nodded once, then shifted his eyes to Fender.

Fender stood up then and turned to look down at me. The glint in his eyes sent a shiver of unease down my spine.

“You gave my wife a reason to live again. She’s slowly coming back to me every day. And the child you’re carrying did that. But understand that you are the reason my son is dead. Nothing can change that for me. It’s not up to me to decide if you stay here or leave. If it wasn’t for Grissele, I would have fought harder for you to be sent away. You’re being handed a life you would never have had without Crosby. Don’t make the fight that Bane and Linc put up to keep you here in vain. The pain that your existence and that child’s existence will continue to cause not just me, but also the Rice family is a sacrifice that is being made for you. Be worth it,” he finished, then walked out of the room without another word.

I jumped slightly as the door slammed behind him.

I knew my being here wasn’t welcomed by everyone, but hearing it had caused it to sink in hard. To understand what it was costing others.

Home was a place that others took for granted. Living under the same roof with people who loved you and wanted you there was a gift. Security and peace from knowing you had somewhere that you didn’t have to fight to be worthy of… there was not one day in my life I had experienced it, and I was starting to wonder if I ever would.

“Gannon Rice and Fender are from the two oldest families in this branch. As far as rank goes, they hold power. Fender wanted to speak to you, and that was why I allowed him in here. It was out of respect for his rank within the family since I hadn’t stood behind his decision for you to be placed elsewhere and informed him that you would be staying here. Losing his son took a piece of him, and he’s not seeing it clearly. I think, in time, he will.”

He stood up. “But if you choose to walk away, run, or contact your family, I won’t stand behind you any longer.”

My throat felt raw, so I only nodded. I was here because of the baby. No one really wanted me, but they wanted my son. At least he would never know what it felt like to exist in a world where there wasn’t a soul who you were special to. Who you belonged to. Who simply wanted you.

Twenty-Five

Halo

“Shh, sweet girl,” the sound of a husky, deep voice whispered.

The hard warmth surrounding me felt safe. I tried to burrow closer. The smell—I recognized it and inhaled deeply with a sigh of pleasure.

A soft brush of lips against my temple caused me to tremble.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you,” the voice assured me.

The tickling caress of a fingertip slowly moved down my cheek, my neck, then back to sweep against my bottom lip.

“Such lush lips for a sweet girl,” he said with a deep rumble in his chest. “I wonder if they taste like you smell. Fucking strawberries.”

I stretched, sliding my leg against much larger, muscular legs, wanting to slip inside them. Feel connected, locked together.

“Mmm.” His pleased hum ended with a low, soft chuckle.

Then, he lifted his leg so that I could get mine between both of his. I bent my knee and scooted my body closer so that his thighsencased mine.

Callous fingertips ran down my back.

“That’s enough, pretty girl.” His voice sounded thick. “Sleep for me.”

With a sigh from this contentment I’d not known existed, I sank into the security of finding where I was wanted and belonged. The smoke and spice swirled around me like a blanket. I could stay this way forever. In my own perfect heaven.

My eyes opened, and sunlight filled the room. I blinked, not certain where I was and slightly panicked that I’d lost something. Sitting up, I tried to figure out what was wrong. The scent I’d come to expect when I opened my eyes hit me, then did the memory of warm arms around me, being embraced, feeling gentle caresses, and hearing the lure of endearments spoken close to my ear.

Sweet girl. Pretty girl.

My face felt warm as my body ached from something it hadn’t actually had. I’d been dreaming. I’d read about pregnancy dreams, that they could be powerful and even erotic. I just hadn’t realized it would feel so real.

I reached up and touched the places the phantom finger from my dream had traced on my face and neck. That had been one hell of a dream. I looked down at my pillow. Would it come back if I went to sleep again? If so, I might just stay in this room and sleep all day.

The desire to do that was strong, but I knew I couldn’t.

The rest of yesterday, I had kept to myself. I went out to the pool to swim, thinking I was alone, but I heard a distant thudding sound that went on for a long time. Not sure what it was until Bane walked into the great room, all sweaty and shirtless with athletic shorts hanging on his waist, showing off his cut, magnificently defined chest. The lines connecting his lower abs to his obliques made places in my body start tinglingthat had no business reacting that way. At least not to him.

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