Page 34 of Tore Up

Peppermint tea was delicious, and Bane had been wrong about the scones. The blueberry one was my favorite. Especially with the creamy butter stuff on them. I was finally starting to relax some.

Grissele Cash would be as intimidating as her older son if she wasn’t so nice. Not only was she the image of elegance, but she held herself so regally that I felt frumpy in her presence. Her obvious joy about my pregnancy was the first response to my unborn child that was positive.

“Tell me about your parents,” she said in a gentle tone, as if she already knew something.

I was sure Bane had clued them in already. She had asked me how I’d met Crosby and listened avidly while I replayed the story that I had told Than this morning.

“Um, my parents … well …” I didn’t want to disappoint this woman. The idea that my baby would have a grandparent wholoved it so much made my heart swell. “My mom died when I was three months old. My dad remarried shortly after, needing help with an infant, and my stepmother raised me.” That, hopefully, was enough.

Her expression seemed pained. “And your stepmother moved out, Bane said, and then your father left too?”

I nodded, twisting the linen napkin in my lap. Was she going to also make the assumption I’d done something terribly wrong to make my family desert me? If I had another reason, I would explain it, but I didn’t. They simply did not care, and I had done all I could to make them care my entire life.

I decided I had one truth that wasn’t anything I wanted to share with someone, but perhaps it would ease her mind, discovering that the mother of her son’s child wasn’t full of awful, hidden traits.

“My mom had postpartum. It was bad, and she, uh … well, she ended her life.” I looked down at my tea and reached for the handle, although I wasn’t going to take a drink, unable to make eye contact as I said this aloud for the first time since hearing it myself. “My dad blames me. I look like her, and he hates me for it. Seeing me is painful for him.”

“Oh my God,” she breathed, and then her hand reached across the table and covered mine. “That’s a horrible thing to put on a child. Postpartum isn’t anyone’s fault. But if it were, then it would have been your father’s for not seeing it and getting her the help she needed.”

My eyes were stinging. “You think?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

She squeezed my hand. “I know. It is a hormonal imbalance that can be treated. You were an innocent baby.”

I lifted my eyes to meet hers. “Thank you.”

Her sympathetic gaze looked as if she might cry too. “Someone should have told you that before now. You shouldn’t havecarried that on your shoulders.”

I had already told this woman more baggage than I’d told anyone. I might as well get it all out there. “I didn’t know why he hated me until before he left last week. He was walking out the door, and I blurted it out. Asked him what I had done to him. Why he’d always hated me. Before that, I’d just stayed out of his way. When I was little, I’d tried to get his attention, but he’d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me. I eventually stopped.”

Grissele closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. “Will you promise me something?” she asked.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to promise anyone anything. But I also didn’t have it in me to tell her no. She’d given me more attention and interest than my father and stepmother ever had in less than an hour.

“Okay,” I agreed, hoping it wasn’t something I couldn’t do.

“When—not if—Bane becomes too much for you, don’t leave. Come here. I have plenty of room. You can even have your own floor. When the baby comes, I would love for you both to live here.”

Live here? In a mansion, where they had tea and scones? It was a lovely offer, but I couldn’t see myself fitting into this family.

“Please,” she said, looking so eager for me to agree that it made it impossible for me not to.

“That’s very generous of you,” I said.

She shook her head. “It’s not me being generous. It’s me being selfish. I want to keep you and Crosby’s baby close. Make sure you have everything you need. The very best. Crosby would have wanted that. He would have.”

She was about to cry again.

Crappity crap. Okay, fine. What was so bad about this?

Bane would want to get rid of me soon, even if I couldn’t find somewhere else to go. I might as well come where I was wanted.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Thank you.”

As I’d suspected, her eyes filled with tears again as she beamed at me, then patted my hand. “That’s settled then. Now, let’s talk about some happy things. Who is your OB-GYN? You have been to see one, right?”

I paused, then shook my head. “I don’t have insurance. I was going to get Medicaid, then find a doctor who accepts it.”

Her expression was clearly horrified. She’d been struck speechless, it seemed. Then, she stood up from her chair and walked over to the buffet table. I watched as she picked up a cell phone, then pressed a number as she made her way back to the table.

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