Page 25 of Tore Up

As much as I didn’t want to see Bane again, I wasn’t sure I could stay in the small room he’d left me in, staring at the walls any longer. The knowledge that Crosby had been engaged had left me hollow. I hadn’t ever considered something like that. I had gone from thinking he had ghosted me and not wanted me to thinking he had loved me and had been coming to see me, like he’d promised. To finding out I was always going to be his secret. The memories of him, us, were tainted now.

I’d given him my virginity. It hadn’t been planned, but that night, he’d been so sweet and tender. He kissed me and whispered words to me no one had ever said before. I felt beautiful and wanted. The things he made me feel were new and wonderful. I enjoyed everything, even the painful part, because he stared down at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world. But that had all been my interpretation. My being deprived of affection had made me an easy target. It hadn’t takenmuch to get me naked. Just gave me attention, and I had spread my legs for him almost every time we were together.

I grimaced at the thought, then stood up from the edge of the twin bed I’d been sitting on. I was thirsty, and I needed to do something other than think about this. It would just continue to torment me.

I walked to the door and opened it, but I didn’t go out. I stood there, staring at the other door up here. That was the bathroom. It, like the bedroom, had a slanted ceiling that went all the way down to the floor on one side because of the roofline. I was pretty sure this was part of an attic.

Bane had brought my other things up here and not said one word to me. He’d been angry, but he was always angry with me.

I looked at the stairs, wondering if I would get lost without a guide. He hadn’t shown me where the kitchen was, but my mouth was dry, and although I’d brushed my teeth since I had thrown up, I still felt like I had vomit in my throat.

Deciding that I had to get out of this room regardless, I headed down the stairs, then tried to backtrack the way we had come up. I made my way toward the big room with the television, where I’d met Than earlier. I heard several voices, and it sounded like the television was on. Stopping, I wasn’t sure I should go in there. My introduction to Than had been bad enough. I didn’t think I was up for facing more people who were going to be distraught by my existence.

“Halo,” Than called.

I turned to see him walking up behind me, carrying a plate of food. He smiled at me reassuringly, and I wanted to sigh in relief. He didn’t hate me. At least not yet.

“Hungry? We’ve got a spread in the kitchen.”

I wasn’t hungry, but seeing his plate made my stomach growl. “Um, yeah. I should probably eat.”

“Come on,” he said with a nod and started back in the directionhe had come from.

“Is Bane here?” I asked.

“No, he’s still out. Is everything okay?” He glanced back at me, looking concerned.

“I’m fine. I was just … well, I didn’t want to, uh … I mean, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to come out of the room or not.” And I wasn’t up for being yelled at again.

Than stopped and stepped back, waving a hand for me to enter first. “You’re not confined to the bedroom. You can stay down here all you want. Go out to the pool and swim. Whatever you want. Don’t let Bane bully you. This was Crosby’s home too. He would have wanted you here.”

More information I hadn’t known about Crosby. Scanning the luxurious kitchen, I tried to imagine Crosby living here in this house. He’d not said he lived with his brother. When I’d imagined him at home, it wasn’t somewhere like this.

“Crosby lived here?” I asked.

“Yeah. You didn’t know that?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I knew as much about him as I thought I did.”

“Bane; me; my older brother, Ransom; Oz, who is Bane’s best friend because no one else can put up with his mean ass; and his brother, Forge, all live here.”

I stared at him, wide-eyed. “Wow. That’s a lot of, uh, guys.”

He grinned. “Oz is with Bane, but Ransom and Forge are in the great room. I’ll introduce you once you get a plate.” He pointed to the long bar filled with trays of food. “The cheeseburgers are fucking awesome, the next tray is grilled chicken sandwiches, and then you have the obvious fried pickles, fries—oh, and those right there are deep-fried jalapeños, stuffed with cheese. They’ve got a kick, so if you don’t like spicy, I’d skip that. There is salad, but I have no idea why. Actually, the grilled chicken was a surprise too. That’s a buffalo chicken dip—another spicy alert—and the chips to go with it. Not sure what the celery sticks are all about. Another weird item we never order. But help yourself.”

I walked over and picked up one of the chicken sandwiches.

“What do you like to drink? Name it, and we will have it,” Than said to me.

“Milk?” I asked. I had been craving that a lot lately. Before pregnancy, I’d only had milk in my cereal.

He nodded. “Ice or no ice?”

Scrunching my nose, I looked at him. “Who puts ice in milk?”

He chuckled. “No ice. Got it.”

I took a few fried pickles, got some salad, then picked up several of the celery sticks. Than brought me a tall, frosted clear mug of milk.

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