Page 8 of Tore Up

“What did I do?” I asked, feeling my throat close up.

His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath, but he didn’t look at me. “Your mother was … she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. She was full of light and laughter, and she could make me feel as if everything would be okay. She was also fragile. Like a doll. Her life hadn’t been easy, and she struggled with memories from her childhood. But I took care of her. Protected her. Then, she got pregnant. Throughout the pregnancy, she had her moments of fear. Unsure she could be a good mother because of the mother she had. I did all I could. I praised her. I reassured her. And you were born. Three days after coming home from the hospital, she withdrew. Got quiet. She would take care of you, but little else. She never wanted to leave the house.” He paused and sucked in a breath, then winced, as if the words were causing him actual pain. “They told me it was postpartum depression. That, along with her mental issues she dealt with—it was a bad combination. There was too much emotional damage.” He swung his eyes back to me then. “She left me. She took her life while I was at work. Your birth had done that to her. You broke her.”

I stood there as a heaviness began to settle over me. It was suffocating. The weight on my chest was crushing.

He began walking again, and I said nothing as he went to the door. This was it. He was going to walk out of this house and just leave me. My stepmother had left with my younger siblings. Ares was gone. Crosby had completely vanished.

Why was it that I was so easy to leave? Everyone left me.

I closed my eyes when the door closed behind Nick. Several minutes passed as I heard the engine in his truck, then the sound of him pulling out of the driveway. When I opened my eyes again, I looked toward the master bedroom. He’d taken what he wanted and gone. All that was left in this house was mine. You’d think I was used to feeling alone by now, but I’d never trulyunderstood what that was until this moment.

This was alone. In a house I’d lived in for most of my life. The memories of my life here, both good and bad, felt like ghosts in the emptiness.

Tomorrow, I’d have to find a place to live.

Nick had been so sure that my looks would be all I needed when even he’d had no problem leaving me. Just like the only mother I’d ever known, the woman who had given birth to me, and Crosby had. Holding on to the hope that Crosby would return, that there would be a good excuse, that he’d called Carina’s phone and not been able to get in touch with me was a waste of time. If he was going to call or text, he would have done so by now.

Turning around, I walked into the bedroom I had shared with my sister. The sound of her laughter seemed to be a faint whisper as I went over to my side of the closet to start packing my things. Sleep wasn’t going to come anytime soon.

Four

Halo

My eyes flew open as my heart slammed against my chest rapidly. It was dark in the room, but the unease that I wasn’t alone felt like icy fingers crawling up my neck. The moon was still high in the sky, which meant I hadn’t been asleep for long.

Had I locked the door? I tried to remember, but when Nick had left me here, I hadn’t been thinking clearly.

I tried to tell myself I’d had a bad dream and that was all this was, but the hairs on my arms were standing up.

Something moved in the corner, and I opened my mouth to scream, not sure that anyone would hear me if I did. The figure was in front of me before the first sound tore from my throat. There was a flash of something shiny as the figure—who had to be a man because of his height and build—lowered himself until his eyes met mine. The sight of the blade in his hand silenced me as I stared at it, then back at him.

He had a knife.

There was a man in my bedroom with a knife. Oh God.

“I-I d-don’t have any m-money.” I stuttered out the words.

Had he not noticed he’d broken into an empty house? Not to mention, it wasn’t the kind of house that looked like it would have anything valuable in it.

The man’s mouth turned up into a sadistic smirk as his light eyes glared at me with pure hatred. I didn’t know this man. I didn’t have enemies. This had to be some serial killer or a random psycho.

“Not here for money,” he replied in a deep voice that would be appealing—if he wasn’t in my bedroom in the dark with a knife.

Was he going to kill me for sport? Or rape me, then kill me?

I had to think. What did one say to a psychopath to get them to change their mind?

I didn’t have a weapon in this house, which I realized now was very poor planning on my part. That and the not making sure I’d locked the door.

“Where is your brother?” he asked.

My brother? Ares? What had Ares done?

I knew he hadn’t been hanging out with good guys this past year. Okay, fine. They were borderline criminals. He’d been high more than once when he came home. I couldn’t imagine Ares had done anything to warrant this though. I’d told him those guys were going to get him in trouble. He’d laughed at me and rolled his eyes.

“Which one?” I asked him, although I knew good and well this was not about Alvin or Dennis.

“You’ve got more than one?” he asked me.

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