Page 9 of Bruise Me Tenderly

Polly leans forward, making sure she’s got my eye. “You and that boy have unfinished business, Judson. And as long as it’s there, you’re not going to move on, and neither is he. And that’s not fair to him.”

I try to swallow past the sudden lump in my throat. Of course I know we have unfinished business; everything was so chaotic and messed up by the time we left Ian’s house. I’d slept with my best friend because he’d asked me to. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to, because I’d always felt something between us, even if neither one of us would ever act on it. But our first time together was in some psycho’s basement, and I don’t know howwe’re supposed to move on from that. What is there that could possibly make this better?

I can’t talk about all of that, not even with Polly. I never told her what Ian did to us, but I’m sure it wasn’t hard to guess. They found bodies of teenage boys on his farm when they dug it up all those years ago.

Talking about that is safer than talking about River.

“I think that if I were to tell anyone about Ian, I’d have to tell them the rest of the story,” I say. “The fact that I killed him.”

“That was self-defense,” Polly says immediately. Fiercely. “It was either you boys or him, and I thank God every day that you’re the ones who survived. Anyone who would put blame on you for that horrible man’s death is someone you don’t need in your life anyway.”

My lips twitch up in a smile. I’d almost forgotten how worked up Polly could get when she was passionate about something.

“I know,” I say. “It’s just all fucked up.”

“Well.” She reaches across the table and pats my hand. “You’re still so young, and you need to start healing. Because you don’t want to get to be my age and have a life full of regrets.”

River’s face flashes into my mind, and I know Polly’s right. I owe him more than a handful of words exchanged in a coffee shop.

I owe him the truth.

Six

River

When I leave work the next night, I find Judson waiting by my car in the parking lot. He’s leaning against a light post, backlit by the setting sun.

“Hey,” he says as soon as I’m close enough. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah, but at my apartment.” I don’t bother telling him I don’t like to be out after dark. I’m sure he’ll probably be able to tell as the sun descends quicker behind the clouds on our way to my apartment.

Judson gets in the passenger side of my Kia, and when I get in beside him, I have such a strong sense of déjà vu that I fumble as I start up the engine.

How many times did we drive in the same car in high school? Judson inherited his dad’s old Camaro when he turned sixteen, and we drove in it together all the time. It was in the shop the day Ian took us. As far as I know, it’s parked in McKenzie’s garage, where it’s been since the day Judson left town.

I back out of the parking lot and drive just a hair over the speed limit in the hopes of reaching my apartment before darkness falls.

“How was work?” Judson asks, breaking the silence.

“It was fine.” My voice is more clipped than I mean for it to be. I keep glancing at the sky, watching as twilight sets in.

Without a word, Judson reaches over and puts a hand on my thigh.

My muscles relax a little, and I loosen my tight grip on the steering wheel. Judson doesn’t have to say anything to let me know he’s telling me that he’s here. I’m not alone.

He keeps his hand on my leg until we reach my apartment building, and when we get out of the car, he takes my hand in his as we head inside the complex.

He doesn’t let go of me until we’re safely in my apartment.

I turn off my alarm and lock the door before dropping my keys on the entryway table.

Judson glances in the kitchen, then onto the living room, which consists mainly of just the couch and sofa.

“I work a lot,” I say, as if he’s judging me for the place. “I’m not really here much other than to sleep.”

“It’s nice,” Judson says. “Good area. I like how safe it feels.”

His last comment surprises me even though it probably shouldn’t. Judson was always a bit wilder than I was. Willing to do things I had to be talked into. Safety was never a huge priority for him. How much of that change was caused by what Ian did to us?

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