Page 33 of The Sound of Secrets

“You didn’t do anything. It’s just an unfortunate twist of fate that both the Harveys and Hallidays have a few rotten apples in the bunch.”

Winnie finished eating and reached for her backpack. Before she could leave the kitchen, I reached out to stop her.

“Can we walk to school together?” I wasn’t going to force her to carry on a conversation, but I wanted to bleed out any bad blood between us as quickly as possible.I hated having her upset with me. I felt being at odds was also dangerous. I didn’t want her avoidance to lead her away from me and directly to someone who might want to harm her.

Winnie reluctantly agreed. She even let me take the time to make a coffee before we left. The security detail followed solemnly behind us. I was sure Rocco had ripped mine a new asshole for letting me slip away to speak to my father the previous day. Giving them the runaround when they hindered our plans had become a bad habit Winnie and I needed to break for Win’s peace of mind.

Winnie was solemn as she walked next to me. I clutched the coffee between my hands and asked her, “Have you ever heard the saying ‘hurt people, hurt people’?”

She cocked her head to the side and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “No.”

I silently exhaled and tried to get my thoughts in order. “Basically, it means when someone has been hurt, that’s what they’re used to, so they inadvertently hurt others. They don’t mean to cause pain, but it’s all they know. Sometimes they don’t even realize that’s what they’re doing.” I gave her a wan smile. “I hope you know I never meant to make you feel like I was keeping things from you or that I didn’t trust you. I honestly wanted to protect you.”

Winnie sighed. She hiked her backpack up higher on her shoulders and turned to watch me for a long moment. I could practically see the gears turning in her head as she tried to formulate a response that expressedher feelings but didn’t attack me. It was a very ‘Win’ way to handle a difficult situation with someone you were angry at but still deeply cared for. He never popped off with words he would later regret. As much as I always told Winnie I wanted her to be more like the Harveys than the Hallidays, I couldn’t ignore that many of her best traits were directly from her uncle.

“Are you sure you weren’t trying to protect yourself, Aunt Channing? Everything you’ve done to hurt me and Uncle Win, is from trying to make sure you’re the one unscathed.”

I blinked and stopped walking. People moved around me like I was a boulder in the middle of a rushing stream. The security guys had to wave pedestrians off so they didn’t bump into me as I imitated a statue. I didn’t move until Winnie pointed at the screen of her phone and told me she was going to be late for her first class.

I reanimated and walked silently next to her as her words spun around my mind like a whirlpool.

When her school came into view, I put a hand on her arm to slow her clipped pace and told her, “You’re right. I am always trying to protect myself. I’ve been doing it since I was younger than you. It’s not something I consciously do. It’s instinct. It’s how I survived growing up with an ill mother and an absent father. It’s how I navigated losing your mom and getting out of an abusive relationship. I protect myself out of reflex, regardless of the consequences. You deserve more than that from me.” So did Win. “I’m sorry. I hate that you’re mad at me.”

Winnie sighed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more sympathetic when you told me about your past. It was a lot to takein. I feel like every step I make, there’s an adult in my life, warning me not to follow in their footsteps. It makes figuring out where I’m supposed to go and how I’m supposed to get there very difficult. Sometimes I don’t want to navigate a new path.” She bumped me with her shoulder and grinned at me. “We aren’t always going to see eye-to-eye. I’m a teenager. I’m supposed to be contrary.”

I hugged her and pulled back to give her a thumbs up. “Mission accomplished.”

She tossed her head back and laughed. When we got to the gates of her school, she paused and looked at me over her shoulder. Her voice was serious, and her tone was far more adult than a fourteen-year-old girl should manage.

“I know your deal with Uncle Win is something he forced you into, and that falls into the category of a situation where you instinctively want to protect yourself. But I don’t think Uncle Win wants to hurt you, and you’re the one inadvertently hurting him. Maybe if you take a step back, you can see what I see. What everyone who watches him with you sees.” She blew me a kiss and darted inside the gates, her security hot on her heels.

I turned to walk back to the brownstone, lost in thought, as I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other.

The way Win hijacked my life was all wrong. However, I couldn’t deny that every move he made since we were forced together had been exactly right. My fake marriage made me feel better about myself and the future than either of myrealmarriages did. If I ignored the origins, I couldn’t find much to complain about Win’sability to be a husband. Just like everything he did, he excelled at it.

When I passed the park, I caught sight of a familiar head of white hair. I knew Win still wanted to do a blood test, but I was certain to my core that Ky was just a victim of circumstance. I couldn’t blame him for being conned by my father. Grown men and women who should know better had become pawns for him. A defiant teenager was no match for a man who made his way through life manipulating and scamming others.

Thinking I should leave the teenager alone and let him get back to his unbothered life, I planned to cross the street and walk down the opposite side to get back to the brownstone. I had to meet with the clients I ditched yesterday and do my best to make a good impression. Not necessarily because I cared what they thought of me, but because I couldn’t stand the thought of besmirching Alistair’s name. Not after he’d given me such a massive opportunity and had proven to be a wonderful friend to me and an excellent uncle to Winnie. He was also a damn good younger brother to Win and Archie. Not that Win would ever admit it. Handing over his global conglomerate would have to be enough to show that he considered the younger man family.

“Heads up!” I was slow to react to the shout.

If I didn’t have someone following my every move, I would’ve been smacked in the head by the soccer ball sailing through the air. Fortunately, the man in charge of keeping me safe caught the ball and held onto it as Ky ran across the park to collect it.

“Sorry about that. It was a wild kick from the goalie.” He was breathing hard and his bleached hair was sticking to his forehead.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” I don’t know why that’s what I blurted out. I wanted to swallow the question back as soon as it left my lips.

Ky raised a dark eyebrow and took the ball from the glowering man next to me.

“My team is using this field for practice today. I don’t have a morning class.”

I waved my hand and pulled myself together. “Sorry. I have no right to ask something like that.”

Ky smiled but it wasn’t very nice. “You’re right. You don’t.”

I wondered absently if the reason I never let myself get attached to the idea that Ky might be mine was because I was insulating myself from the disappointment of learning the truth. I wanted to believe my kid was out there so badly, it was hard to let that dream die a painful death.

Since Ky tore off the mask of civility first, I asked, “Did you tell my father about Goldie?”

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