Page 31 of The Sound of Secrets

I shook my head. “No. I had my hands full taking over the business from your grandfather and trying to keep your grandmother out of your parents’ hair. Aunt Channing wasn’t on my radar much when she was younger. I had no idea she was in trouble.”

Winnie tossed her hair behind her and frowned at me. “Would you have helped her if you knew what she was going through?”

I opened my mouth to say ‘of course’, but the words died when I considered how much effort I put into making sure my mother didn’t notice my unwanted fascination with the youngest Harvey.

“I’d like to think I would’ve done something if I knew. It doesn’t matter. We can’t go back and undo what was done. Why are you so upset with your aunt? You’re smart enough to know what happened back then is not her fault. She needs your support. She needs to see that you don’t see her any differently after knowing the truth.” God only knows how difficult it was to let Winnie see those scars.

My niece laughed bitterly and clutched her phone so tightly her fingers turned white. “Does she need my support? Are you sure about that? Because every time I turn around, it feels like she’s doing whatever she wants, without thinking about anyone else. She never told me about when she was a teenager. She took my mom and didn’t want me to be there. She left when you were injured. She confronted Grandma Colette alone, even though she knew it was dangerous. I don’t think she thinks of me atall.” She sounded frustrated and hurt. I wasn’t sure how to smooth over this rift because Winnie made a valid point. “Aren’t you afraid you’re going to wake up one day and she’s going to be gone? Like really gone. It doesn’t seem like she cares about us enough to stay.”

I sighed and reached out and put a hand on top of Winnie’s head. “She’s been on her own for a long time. It’s difficult to adjust when you suddenly have to share yourself with others. Just like when I started raising you. It was the first time in my life something mattered more than making money. I had to learn how to share myself with you. Your aunt is going through the same thing, but she’s got double the work because there’s two of us.” I moved a finger between me and her. “You need to be patient with her. And you need to be kind about what she shared with you. Consider people asking you about what happened with your parents. That’s a conversation you aren’t going to want to have with just anyone. You get to choose when and where to share it with those you trust. We all have secrets. You need to focus on the fact Channing shared hers, not that she shared them later than you would like.”

Winnie huffed in aggravation. “I want to be there for her.”

“I know. But some adult stuff is too heavy for you to carry. No one wants to be seen as the regrets they’ve accumulated. I firmly believe she would’ve talked things out with you when it was appropriate. That boy showing up just hurried her along.”

Winnie’s hazel eyes softened a touch, and her tense shoulders relaxed. “Ky’s not that bad. He never asked to get involved in our family drama.”

I hummed an absent agreement. I still thought it was too coincidental that he bumped into Winnie at school right before Channing’s father appeared out of nowhere. He might’ve been a pawn in the old man’s game, but he was still playing along.

“I’d rather you keep your distance from him.” At least until I had done the DNA test. I wanted irrefutable proof that the boy did not belong to Channing. I felt like nothing else would ease the pressure on her heart.

Winnie got off the couch and grabbed her laptop. “I’m going to my room to finish my homework.” She turned on her heel and headed toward her bedroom with a defiant flounce.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you ignored what I just said.” Channing was right. The more we warned her to stay away from Ky, the more determined she was to cling to him.

“We go to different schools. And he’s afraid of you. I don’t think we’re going to be besties, Uncle Win.”

“Good.” I muttered the word under my breath.

I tidied up the mess she left behind before turning off the lights and heading to the top floor of the brownstone. Channing had been understandably withdrawn since the showdown with her father. She was sitting on the veranda, staring at the sky. Her head turned when I stepped outside and took a seat across from her. I swatted a mosquito and waited for her to say something. Even if she wanted to sit in silence, that was fine. As long as she was here, with me, I didn’t care what kind of company she decided to be.

“Do you think I have Peter Pan Syndrome?” The muted question came as softly as the clouds covering the moon in the midnight sky.

I lifted an eyebrow and reached up to unbutton the top of my shirt. It was warm out. The temperature and the smell of the flowers gave the feeling that this little hidden spot was a tropical oasis. It was the perfect spot to forget we were caged in on all sides by concrete and expectations.

“I’ve never seen you wear green tights and elf shoes. And I’m pretty sure you can’t fly. I think you’re safe from being Peter Pan.”

Channing rolled her eyes at the lackluster joke. “My dad said I always look for the light at the end of the tunnel, but what if I’m not looking for the bright side? What if I’ve always just been refusing to grow up?” She bent forward and put her head on her folded arms so she was resting on the wrought-iron table. “It’s childish to think my mom will ever be well enough to go home and be normal. It’s ridiculous to imagine a better life for a baby who was born in the worst circumstances. It was foolish to think Willow and Archie could ever make it. It’s always been naïve to believe Winnie can have a normal childhood.” She sighed heavily and turned her head so I could see half of her face. “I told myself it was fine. I never had a ‘real’ job before Alistair came along. There was never a chance for me to pursue a degree. As long as I had something that could pay the bills, it was fine. I never let myself want more. I’ve never held myself to a higher standard. I tell myself I’m okay with failed marriage after failed marriage, because one day the perfect partner willcome along. Isn’t that the ultimate childish dream? That theoneis out there? From the minute I signed that contract agreeing to marry you, I’ve had to act like an adult. It’s been absolutely demoralizing.”

I stretched out my long legs and nudged her bare foot with the toe of my shoe. “I don’t find you childish. You’re fun. And fanciful. I think you’re colorful and quirky. You’ve managed to hold on to the wonder and excitement about everyday things. Most of us have that burned out of us by the monotony of day in and day out repetition. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for the best while the rest of us prepare for the worst. It’s a delicate balance.” One that was very nice when it worked out in my favor.

“I’ve been fooling myself for so long, I forgot that I actually know better. I’m pathetic, Chester.”

I stretched an arm across the table and dragged the tip of my index finger down the slope of her nose. She wrinkled it in response, making her look like anything other than a dignified adult.

“You aren’t pathetic. You’re optimistic. Considering what you’ve survived, and how challenging it is to find a reason to be happy, that positive outlook is as rare as Painite.”

She lifted her head and gave me a puzzled look. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“A gemstone that comes along once in a lifetime. Most people couldn’t recognize it even if it was right in front of their face. Don’t change who you are, Harvey. I like you just the way you are.”

My fingertip dropped from her nose to trace the cupid’s bow on her top lip. I let it circle her mouth before I felt the flick of her tongue against the rough surface.

“I like you the way you are too, Win.” She lifted her head and watched me with a gaze more serious than I could remember her having. “I would like you more if you weren’t rich as sin, but you shouldn’t have to change, either. Are you sure you want to step down as CEO? What are you going to do once Alistair takes over the company? Take up knitting?”

I grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her across the table until I could drop a kiss on her parted lips.

“I’m going to get Winnie off to college and take care of my brother. I’m going to redistribute my wealth in ways that might make my mother return from the grave.” I had more money than I could spend in this lifetime. So I was going to give a good chunk of it away. I considered trying to balance out all the terrible karma my mother left behind. I glanced at my ruined hands and let out a sad sigh that ghosted across Channing’s mouth. “I would like to play the violin again, but that seems unlikely. I was in training to take over the company from the minute I started walking and talking. I’ve earned an early retirement.” I used my hold on her to tug her from her chair and guide her to sit in my lap. “Since I’m married to Peter Pan, I guess that makes me Tinker Bell. I’ll do my best to support you and keep you out of trouble while you show everyone that growing up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

---