Page 70 of Absentia Mori

I take a deep breath and wring my hands in my lap to keep them from shaking. Recounting everything to Aries over thephone was hard enough but staring at this goddess in front of me with all of her beauty and strength, I feel my resolve crumbling.

I was drawn to her from the beginning. To her confidence and sass. She’s the only girl I’ve ever met who wasn’t intimidated by me. She saw through my act and loved me anyway.

She reaches for my hand. “Libra Thorn, don’t forget who you are. This is a safe space.” She shoots a warning glare at Riot as he snickers.

I nod and swallow down my apprehension. I don’t know where to even start. “You’re going to hate me after this.”

Maureen squeezes my hand. “We’ve all made mistakes, Lib. Whatever it is you think you did, I’m sure you had your reasons.”

My stomach knots under the heavy weight of Riot, Atlas, Valentin, and now Felix Crane’s expectant glares. I still don’t understand why Villette’s brother is here. But judging by the possessive way he looks at my sassy friend, I’m guessing he’s a part of this now.

Mordecai places a hand on my shoulder. “Speak your truth, little freak.”

Maureen arches an eyebrow at him. “I’m going to need details on that too, bitch.”

I let a nervous chuckle free. Fuck, I missed that sharp wit of hers. “There’s a lot about my past that I don’t talk about. But in the last six months, I’ve had to deal with it. And it’s made me understand why I’ve been such a horrible person to so many people. Including you, Firecracker.”

Maureen smirks at me using her guys’ pet name for her. “You don’t have to get into that now, Lib. Not in front of all of them.”

I shake my head. “No, I have to.” I take another deep breath, so I don’t vomit. “Shortly after I turned sixteen, my father started parading me around in front of potential business partners. He made sure I always looked perfect for them. I was flattered by the attention at first. I actually felt special. Like myfather was finally including me in his world. Until the night he let one of them take me back home with him. He told me to be a good little princess and behave for her king. That if I did good, he’d get the money he needed from them.”

Mordecai’s hand on my arm tenses. “Fuck,” he breathes.

Maureen’s eyes darken. “That fucking bastard.”

Saying it out loud for the second time today makes it hurt a little less. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and force a smile. “It doesn’t excuse the things I’ve done since, but at least you know now why I’m so fucked up.”

I tell her about my eating disorder, the stint I did in rehab, and the sneaky way I applied to Tenebrose Academy just to get away from my father and his sick games.

Riot’s gaze softens on me slightly. “You should’ve told me, Lib… I would have gone easier on you.”

I give him my forgiveness in that moment. “I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Aries. I was too ashamed. I shoved it all down, refusing to deal with it. So when I came here to Tenebrose, I became unhinged. I was finally free from my father’s hold. But I’m still my father’s daughter.”

I pull my hands away from Maureen and look down in shame again. This part is the one I’ve been dreading.

She snatches them back. “No, you don’t get to shut me out now. I trust you, Lib. No matter what you say next.”

“Villette is on her way. I texted her,” Felix interjects. “She cares about you too, Libra.”

I nod. “Good. I miss that queen.”

Valentin hands me a snifter of whiskey before giving my shoulder a light squeeze. “I know all too well about paying for the sins of our fathers. He’ll get his in the end. Mine did.”

I gasp mid-sip. “I feel like you all have a lot to catch me up on too.”

Maureen’s amber-flecked eyes glow, a swirl of light circling her pupils. “Yes,” she breathes. “A lot has happened.”

Fuck it. I’ve stalled long enough. Time to rip the bandage off. I take another long swig of whiskey before launching into my confession. “Zeke was blackmailing me. He found out about my teenage indiscretions. About what my father made me do. He said if I didn’t give him information about you, Maur, then he’d expose my past. He even had pictures.”

Maureen gasps, her mouth twisting in horror. “Fucking hell… So it wasn’t all Jessamine.”

I shake my head while I take another sip of whiskey. The burn down my throat comforts me. “He tricked her too… I never gave Zeke too much. Just little things to keep him satisfied. But then, when I really got to know you, when you became one of my best friends, I begged him to leave you alone. He said he would back off if I fucked him. So I did. Many times. But it was all a lie. A trick. He still went after you… you could’ve died that night, and it would’ve all been my fault.”

She springs from the table and throws her arms around me. “It was not your fault, Lib. Zeke was a monster. He manipulated all of us. I’m so sorry you had to go through that with him.”

“I’m just glad you killed him,” I sneer.

Raithe steps forward. “When you all were fighting the initiates who sided with Zeke, the three of us were frantically looking for Libra.”

---