Page 1 of Absentia Mori

I’m not supposed to be here.

My legs feel like those fucking jello shots that Maureen always whines about. I know I drank a lot last night, but not enough to put me in a fucking coma.

Where the fuck am I?

I squint my eyes at the ceiling. At the fluorescent light blinking from the half-attached lightbulb that dangles over my head. If this is Aries’s attempt at a sick joke to get me back for last spring, I’m literally going to murder him in his sleep. My twin brother can be dramatic at times, but he knows better than to piss me off.

This feels wrong.

I blink my eyes a few more times and take in the room. It’s stark, cold, devoid of all color.Literally my nightmare. I look down to see that I’m dressed in an outfit that I wouldn’t wishto be fucking buried in—green hospital scrubs. What the actual fuck?

I try to sit up, staggering against the hard mattress, my head pounding. “Fuck,” I mutter. I look around the room again, and panic sets in. There’s not a single window. This doesn’t look like a hospital room.

There’s a small steel desk on the other side of the room with a folding chair tucked under it. The stark white paint on the walls is chipped, peeling away completely in some places.Yeah, definitely not a hospital room. I push back the scratchy sheet as I swing my legs around and plant my bare feet on the cold linoleum floor.

Am I fucking losing my mind? Did I do something crazy last night? A sharp pain shoots up the back of my neck in response. As I run my hands through my hair, I wince. A thin layer of grease coats my fingers. I shudder. My hair is so fucking dirty.Ugh.

A piercing scream rings out, echoing outside the hollow room. Fuck. Goosebumps prickle my skin, causing all the hairs on my arms to stand up.

My heart races as I stagger toward the door. Each step takes all of my strength, all of my concentration, to not topple over. With every quivering breath, I rack my brain, trying to remember last night. To remember anything that can help me figure out how I got here.

It’s not even a blur. It’s just…absent. Blank. The last memory I can recall is a party in Hemlock Valley. I was dancing on top of a table with a bottle of gin mixed with nightshade. I close my eyes as a tiny flicker of shame washes over me. And I remember the piles of cocaine being snorted around my feet.

Fuck, I need to get my shit together.

I open my eyes and amble toward the steel door. I jump as another monstrous scream rings out from the other side.

Maybe I died and went to hell.

I take a deep breath and pull on the door handle. My stomach flips. It won’t open. Fuck. I try it again… nothing. Hysteria bubbles up in my throat as I yank on it with both hands. “What the fuck?”

I slam my palms against the door. “Hey, let me the fuck out of here,” I yell.

This is bad. This is so fucking bad.

I bang my hands on the door, a wild frenzy coming over me as I realize I’m trapped. “Do you know who I am? Let me the fuck out of here!”

No one comes. The screams get louder, echoing from different directions. I back up and sink down on the bed, my gaze trained on the locked door. On my path to freedom.

I’ve been kidnapped. That’s the only explanation.

I fight back tears.My parents will get me out of this. They’ll come for me. Aries will come for me.

I bend my knees and hug them to my chest to try and stop myself from shivering.

I should have gone back to Tenebrose early with Villette when she offered to drive me. But I was too fucking indulgent this winter break—obsessed with drowning out all the noise in my head.

After everything that happened last semester with Nocturnus, after what Riot, Valentin, and Atlas did to me, the fucking humiliation they put me through… I needed to escape. I’m happy for Maureen’s cozy happy ending with them but my ego,my pride, still hurts.

I know I pushed Riot too far this time, but making me strip naked in front of all those initiates… the lashing they gave me… the way I came so hard from it… I fucking hate myself. And I hate Nocturnus.

But my mental escape has now become my imprisonment.

Without warning, I lose it, and a bloodcurdling scream erupts from my throat. I fly to the door and pound on it like a wild animal. “Open this fucking door!”

My stomach flips when I hear footsteps outside and what sounds like three locks sliding out of place. I back up and ball my fists, ready to fight like hell.

When the door creaks open, all hope of escape dies. Two of the biggest, scariest men I’ve ever seen in my life glare back at me. Wearing all white, they look like criminals dressed up as hospital workers for Halloween. Their gazes are sinister, their smirks dripping with malice.

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