Page 58 of Under His Embrace

Could I forgive her? Of course, but I had to come to terms with all the lost time. All the heartache of missing out in such a huge way.

I’d never be able to reclaim the years I missed in Caleb’s life. I would never have a chance to see any of his firsts and let him know that I cared.

I was torn with so many questions, curious about what that kid thought of me. He knew that I was his dad. He said he saw pictures of me. So he was allowed the courtesy of knowing about me, but I was in the dark about him.

It stung.

It ached.

My heart beat with pangs of sorrow and guilt, even though she was the one who’d kept him from me.

I couldn’t sweat it out. I couldn’t pace away from the mess in my head and heart. All day and night, I avoided everyone else and tried my best to get my mind clear enough to react logically.

Late at night, I gave up on trying to sleep and headed to the kitchen for water. When I reached the big room, I found Caleb sitting at the counter, peering around the room.

“Hey,” I said quietly, not wanting to startle him. “Can’t sleep?”

He yawned, a nonverbal argument to that idea. “I’m just thirsty. But I don’t know where the cups are.”

I got one for him and filled it with water.

“Thank you.”

I took a seat across from him, marveling at how similar he was. He really was a mini me. The hair, the eyes, the spunk. But I saw Chloe in him too. I sighed, swallowing down the heartache of not being able to have watched him grow up. I’d missed out on too damn much.

I watched him drink the water, impressed that he didn’t flinch. He stared right back at me, seeming as curious of me as I was of him.

I had no clue where to start. It was a late start, but I so badly wanted to get to know him.

I had no inclination to guess whether Chloe wanted me in his life at all. Hiding him from me since his conception was a pretty damn clear example of her choosing to shut me out.

“Have you known about me all your life? That I was your dad?” It seemed like a neutral question.

He shook his head. “No. Only when I was older.”

I frowned, disliking the thought that came to mind. Did he ever think Wes was his dad?

“My mom told me about you when I was older and asked who my dad was. She had pictures and all, so I could see that you were a real person.” He furrowed his brow. “You’re a lot taller than I thought you’d be.”

I chuckled.

He tipped his head to the side, eyeing me closely.

“What else doesn’t match the pictures she had?”

“No, the pictures match. I’m just wondering if you’ll keep her safe.”

“Safe?”

He nodded. “I asked her why she didn’t live with you and she said she wouldn’t be safe. But now that she’s by you, will you? Will you keep her safe?”

“Of course.” I sighed. “No matter what, Caleb, I will always do everything in my power to keep both you and her safe.”

“Can you beat up Wes for bothering her?” he asked.

I grunted a laugh. “You want me to beat him up?”

He nodded, stern and serious. “My mom reminds me that violence isn’t the answer in most cases. But I think Wes really needs a good ass kicking for being so mean and weird to her.”

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