Page 21 of Dirty Secrets

“Scared? Sweetheart, I get it. I didnotmean for this to move so crazy fast. But there’s no rush.” I pause, as she nods slightly. “But I do want you in my life, Jocelyn. Actually, to be more accurate, I want to be inyourlife.” I stand up and come around to kiss the top of her head. “If I can make one request, might I suggest just relaxing today, instead of thinking yourself to pieces? We can talk tomorrow.”

“Good idea.”

I pick up the lunch bag that’s now waiting for me on the counter, then give Jocelyn a wave as I leave.

Even though I want to wrap my beautiful girl in my arms and never let her go, it’s clear that I need to be cautious.

But I have faith that my love for her is visible enough that she’ll realize we belong together.

13

JOCELYN

Inever sleep well when I’m trying to make a decision. And this is the most important decision of my life.

After tossing and turning for much of the night, I wake up around six, make tea, then sit on the back patio with my journal before laughing out loud. This is exactly the kind of perfect morning I described to Walker yesterday – well, minus the tossing and turning.

Out of all the conversations we’ve had, all the things we’ve discussed about life in general, that struck me as enormously thoughtful and considerate. For him to have me think about what I wanted in my daily life.

Not what we could do together, or how we could arrange our lives. WhatIwanted. Which just so happens to line up perfectly with what he wants.

Does it matter that he has plenty of money that he doesn’t really use? No. Does it matter that he’ll inherit even more if we get married? No.

Well… It would mean that our children wouldn’t have the same crushing student debt someday that I did. They would have their education paid for outright.

Staring out at the trees, I sip my tea and feel a deep sense of peace come over me. Thinking about the future in such a calm way as this is reassuring. At the same time, every part of my body tingles when I think about living with Walker. Something lights up deep within me with every little caress, every whisper in my ear, every time his huge muscular body is next to mine.

By the time I finish my tea, the realization has settled over me slowly. Walker isn’t spoiled. He’s solid. Steady. I honestly don’t think the dynamic between us would change just because he’s the one with money and I’m essentially penniless.

My goal has always been to become debt-free and live a peaceful life. If I lived with Walker, I could double or triple my debt payments every month. I actually get chills thinking how amazing it would feel to see the total going down more quickly, not having to wait decades.

Walker cares for me unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. Life with him would be incredible. And he’s right… I don’t have to make any decisions immediately. Even though the decision is already made and staring me in the face.

We belong together.

For now, though, all I have to do is tell him that I want to move forward.

Harper swings by to pick me up, then we hit Carson’s place to grab Nikki. We’re almost downtown when Harper says, “So… How are things going with Walker?”

I can feel my cheeks burning. “Really well.”

Nikki leans forward from the back seat. “How well? As in…is our big, beautiful house going to be empty some nights?”

We all laugh as they stare at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. “Definitely.”

They laugh again, then Harper parks near the library.

“Hey, if you two are being picked up by your guys tonight, may I use the car?” I ask.

Harper tosses me the keys. “No problem. Talk to you tomorrow.”

She heads to the bench near the library that we use a lot for our work, Nikki walks to Corina’s, and I go to Fran’s. Around three in the afternoon, I see Griffin’s truck go by with he and Harper in it. Just as I’m getting to the car, I see Nikki drive by with Carson.

As I head to Valley Auto, I have no idea what I’m going to say. How is a quiet girl like me supposed to tell someone like Walker that she thinks they belong together?

I pull up in front of the shop, where the huge garage door is wide open. Walker comes out looking like he belongs on the cover ofHot Mechanic Monthly. Tight black t-shirt, worn blue jeans, tanned, slightly sweaty across the brow until he wipes it with the back of his wrist. Did it just get warm in here?

The second he sees me, his dark eyes light up. “I really want to hug you, but I don’t wanna get you all greasy. Come on in.”

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