Page 96 of Salvatore

The air in my lungs turns to liquid cement. “What about us?” I ask, unable to take it anymore. I stroke her back gently when she doesn’t answer, ignoring the way it’s shaking. “Adrianna . . . what about us?’

My question causes her to crumble. I hate how defeated she seems. But I hate that she’s not answering me.

She closes her eyes, like what I say causes her pain. When she opens them, they give away her misery, as does her tone. “I can’t stay with you. Not with what you do, and who you work for.”

If I were anywhere else, I’d be sure there was a bug and that she was baiting me to give her information. But this is Aedry being honest and calling me out on my lies.

My hand falls away from her back. I don’t even try to deny it. “How long have you known?”

She clasps her hand over her face and leans forward, stifling a sob. I guess she expected me to pretend I didn’t know what she was talking about—or convince her she’s wrong. But I can’t. I can’t do this shit to her anymore.

“I had my doubts early on. But you were so sweet, I thought I was reading too much into it.” She wipes her eyes. “It’s when we had dinner with him and Rita that I finally realized what was happening.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” I’m not accusing her of burying her head in the sand, but I know her and can see what this is doing to her. I don’t understand why she didn’t confront me before.

“I wanted to, but I kept . . .” She gasps, as another row of tears trickle down her face. “I kept wanting to believe in you, believe in the good man I know. But when we went to the islands and you returned covered with blood, I couldn’t believe in you anymore.”

Each word she says pounds my skull, but it’s the disappointment and pain claiming her small form that rips me apart.

“You held me in your arms like I could somehow break,” she tells me. “As if you would do anything for me.”

“Because I would,” I grind out, my voice harsh with how much it hurts to look at her. “I would do anything for you and my family.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be where you are, Salvatore.” Her face crumbles like she’s trying not to cry, but she doesn’t manage. “I don’t understand how you could be so kind and good to us, while belonging to something so horrible.” Her hands slap against her lap in frustration. “Tell me why you did this. Please, I need to know how you can be a part of that world.”

Words jumble in my mind like a traffic jam. She needs and deserves an explanation. Except what comes out isn’t planned, but maybe I don’t need it to be. Maybe for once in the God damn time we’ve been together, I need to come clean about who I really am.

“I did what I had to do to survive. But I’m not what you think I am, not entirely.” Her lips part, her shock as obvious as her pain. “I’m not a made man. I’ve never hurt a woman or a kid, and I’ve never killed . . . but I’ve seen and done a lot of bad shit, protecting Vin.”

I’m ready for her to tell me to walk—to get the hell away from her and not look back. What she says is worse and laced with everything that makes me love her.

“Come with me, you and the boys. Come with me to North Carolina.”

Everything she said, from her first tear to the last hits me like a row of linebackers. But it’s her last few words that finish bowling me over. I throw my legs over the bed, pulling on my briefs and shoving into my discarded pants.

Her voice breaks. “Where are you going?”

I finish buckling my belt. “Not to North Carolina,” I respond.

She scrambles to stand beside me, clutching my wrist when I reach for my shirt. “Don’t walk away. Come with me and we’ll start fresh far away from here.”

“I’m not leaving. This is my home.” It’s a lame excuse and yet another lie, and we both damn well know it. But after hearing that she’s leaving?that’s she’s not willing to stay anywhere near me?shit?she might as well have belted me in the stomach with a sledgehammer.

“So, that’s it?” she asks me, the agony in her voice freezing me in place. “It’s over?”

Those lies?every last one I’ve fed her? those times I brushed her away to keep my secrets?morph into a noose, fastening around my neck and pulling tight. I’d fucking kill for her, die to keep her safe, rip out my soul and hand it to hell itself to save hers. I would do anything for this woman, but I can’t do this.

“Stay with me,” I say. “Here, in Jersey.”

“No,” she says, taking a step back. “Not like this.”

My shoulders rise and fall with each tortured breath. I knew the day would come when Aedry would call me out. But I didn’t expect it to be today. And I sure as shit am not ready for it.

The weight of her disappointment clouds her features, threatening to split her in half. “My parents have a house we can stay in,” she says. “We can live there until we both find jobs?”

“I have a job,” I snap, my fury at Vin, at myself, and every piss poor decision I’ve made since deciding to work for him burning its way through my veins.

Menace unleashes like venom through my pores. Anyone else would bolt. But this is Aedry, the one person in this world who doesn’t fear me. She closes the distance between us, cupping my face with so much tenderness, I practically melt against her palms.

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