Page 55 of Infinite

“I didn’t have to be there,” Trin says. “Y’all got pictures. Don’t you be thinking I won’t be ordering a few eight by tens.”

I laugh out loud.

“It might even be our Christmas card this year.”

“Trin!”

“Nothing says Merry Christmas like a picture of your best friend’s backside as she walks toward your other best friend, naked in bed. All I need to do is add, ‘Hugs and kisses, the Sawyers,’ and I’m all set.”

I cover my face, laughing, the last of my stress erasing. Well, most of it, anyway.

Hale is almost done helping Tootles. I can’t hide in here with Trin forever, but there’s more I need to tell her.

“Do you know what happened with Hale’s parents?” I don’t outright discuss the affair. I just give her a nudge. Of course, she knows exactly what I mean. Trin keeps a lot of our secrets. This time, I wish she hadn’t.

“He told me when I came home from the Peace Corps,” she admits quietly. “He said he’d planned to write me and tell me about it. But he couldn’t discuss something like that in a letter.”

“You never told me,” I say. “Trin, this was something I needed to hear long before now.”

“Becca,” she says gently. “It wasn’t my story to tell.”

“I know,” I agree. “I’m not mad at you. I just wish I’d known. I could have been there for him. Instead I screwed things up and wasn’t sure how to make it right.”

“You weren’t going to repair your relationship just because I told you something bad about his family, Becks. I love y’all. You know I do. But the people you are today are not the same people who left each other under those awful circumstances. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t think either of you were ready for each other back then.”

“We were going to make love,” I say, remembering how much I wanted to. “I realize it sounds stupid to say it like that, but it wasn’t going to be just sex. Not with Hale.”

“I know. Y’all have loved each other forever. As friends first and maybe more now.”

There was no “maybe” about it. But even to Trin I can’t admit as much yet.

“It was a rough night,” she says, thinking out loud. “Lots of goodbyes we weren’t ready for. It played on our emotions and damaged us a little on the inside. For you to say you were going to make love, well, how could it have been anything else? Both of you needed healing and sought it through intimacy.”

“I wasn’t thinking about healing anything,” I confess. “I just wanted him. I still do.”

“I’m not saying you weren’t physically ready to connect,” Trin adds. “But I am saying there was an emotional component that was missing that would have tainted the experience. That night, we were all about growing up for good and moving on forever. None of us were sure we’d keep in touch. Even as well as we’ve remained friends, it hasn’t been like we originally planned.”

“We were all supposed to buy houses next to each other,” I say, thinking back to the promise we’d made when we were little. “Our houses were going to be right next to each other. In the center. Hale, Mason, and Sean would be on either side of us.”

“So they could watch over us,” Trin finishes for me.

“Yes,” I agree. “Or maybe so we could keep them out of trouble.”

She laughs, the sad, quiet laugh that tender memories like these bring. “It’s been hard having my babies grow up with everyone so far away. But, in a way, we’ve all benefited from the distance.”

“How so?” I ask, knowing how much the friendship between the five of us changed when we moved away.

“Becks, as much as I hated that we all went our separate ways, everything I experienced prepared me to be a better wife and mother . . . just like all you and Hale went through together and apart prepared you for each other.”

There’s no gentle teasing to her voice. She’s being honest and telling me what I need to hear.

“You think we’re ready for each other now?”

“I hope so, Becks. You want to be there for him and prove your friendship, and make up for the years lost between you? I can’t think of a better time than now. Hale needs you.”

“I know,” I agree quietly. “I wasn’t sure we’d ever happen.”

“Are you serious? Becca, I’ve seen how Hale looks at you. We all have. Those eyes he gives you are that of a man who never forgot you.”

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