Page 79 of Feel Me

I believe she means,How did that work out for you,dumbass? “It didn’t. At least not for me.”

“Considering he’s been a moody bastard for the past month, seems to me it didn’t work out for him either. Should have known you two weren’t together.” She taps her nails on her glass, scrutinizing me closely. “I like you, Melissa,” she finally says.

“I like you, too,” I reply carefully, unsure where this is going.

“And because I like you, I’m going to tell you something you may not know, because you need to know it.” She sighs. “Declan’s the black sheep of the family.”

“The Black sheep?” I repeat.

She gives it some thought. “Okay. Maybe not the black sheep, more like the sheepdog watching out for the loud, fucked-up sheep grazing on the crazy grass and telling the cows in the neighboring pasture to fuck off.”

“Hear me out,” she says when I blink back at her. “Our father died when we were little, seriously little. As the oldest, Angus quit school, got his G.E.D, and went to work. He had to, the life insurance, pension, it wasn’t enough, not with eight mouths to feed. Declan couldn’t quit school, not with his brains, not with his talent, shit, not with everything he’s always wanted to be and do, even though as the second oldest kid, society kind of expected him to.”

“Seamus, the third in line, took his place, knowing like the rest of us, Declan needed to keep going.” She takes another sip of her champagne. “Declan didn’t puss out. He studied, got the grades, got scholarships. He knew the best way to help us was by becoming that leader he’s destined to be. He kept on us, making sure we did our homework, went to bed on time, and stayed safe. But when he went away to college, life fucking happened, and not all of us stayed safe.”

Her voice splinters enough to tell me she’s talking about their brother and maybe herself as well. “Declan’s the sheepdog,” she says again. “Always watching out for us, even when he’s not around to take in the crazy. Look at what he does for a living, and how far he’s come.” She adjusts her position. “But he was always like that, always driven to be the most successful, the wealthiest, and the most powerful. Want to know why?”

I don’t answer, but I don’t this she expects me to.

“Because wealth and power afford you protection, and the goods to protect those you most love.”

I stop moving, understanding striking me like a slap.

Her voice quiets, growing sad. “He didn’t plan on you. He didn’t plan on anyone. But maybe he needed to.”

And maybe he needed me.

I want to believe her, but after everything that happened out there, I’m not sure he needed me for the right reasons.

“Are you going to give him another chance?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“Why?”

Wren was counting on her insight of Declan to change my perspective. And it did, to a point. But there are too many facts I can’t ignore, including his private meeting with the governor.

“I’m not sure I can trust him,” I tell her, that sting to my eyes returning.

“It’s hard to trust someone when you’ve been hurt. I get it. Believe me I do. But Declan is nuts about you.”

“Did he say that?”

“No, I can just tell. You’re the wrench in his well thought out plan.” She takes a big gulp. “Seriously, he made a pie-graph that outlined his life when he was like twelve. None of that plan included a woman, but here you are all the same. And based on how he acted out there, when another man put his hands on you, he wants you to stay. So stick around for the ride or get off. Either way, we can’t stay in the fucking bathroom all night?Oh, hey, there governor. How’s it going?” Wren asks when she walks in with her security detail. “Voted for you last time.”

The governor glances my way as we stand. “This is Wren O’Brien, Declan’s sister,” I say quickly, hoping she didn’t hear Wren say “fucking” but realizing she likely did.

The governor greets her with a smile. “Ah, your future sister-in-law,” she says, shaking Wren’s hand.

She means to be kind. So does Wren. But their words only stab my wounded heart.

CHAPTER 21

Declan

“Declan, please calm down,” Tess tells me.

I’m standing here like and imbecile waiting for Melissa to come out of that damn bathroom.