Page 60 of Feel Me

“It’s okay,” I say, squeezing his arm.

He doesn’t think it is, and mostly it’s not. But I don’t want to make a fuss especially when everyone is being so welcoming.

Declan considers me for a beat. “I’m okay,” I insist. “Really.”

Although he doesn’t seem to believe me, he nods once and leads my Dad into the family room. No sooner do they sit in front of the mother of all flat screens than someone slaps a beer in each of their hands. I’m not sure Dad should drink, but I don’t want to baby him, nor do I want to keep him from having fun.

I watch him settle, wishing Mae could have come, not just for me, but mostly for Dad. She used the short week to return to England and settle some affairs so she can commit to staying long term with dad. “I don’t want to have to leave him again,” she told me. But the way her voice trembled, she meant, “I don’t want him to leave me.”

Wren says something. I don’t realize she’s talking to me, until she touches my arm.

“I’m so sorry,” I say. “Can you repeat that?”

She grins. “I asked if you want to go into the kitchen and see if Tess needs help, seeing how she looks ready to pop.”

“Of course,” I say.

I follow her, glancing back at Dad and Declan. One of the brothers says something that makes them chuckle. Dad wasn’t feeling well earlier and Declan seemed tense on the ride over. I want them to have a good time. Now that they’re getting comfortable, maybe they will.

We’re only halfway across the family room when Tess rushes out with a tray packed with appetizers only to be intercepted by Finn. “What are those?” he asks, motioning with a jerk of his chin.

“Vegan egg rolls,” she answers.

“Vegan?” he says, like it’s a dirty word. “What the hell?” He calls to those around him. “Hey! Tess fucked up Thanksgiving?”

She rams the egg roll into his mouth and keeps walking. Finn grimaces, chewing like a puppy would on a lemon, his scowl relaxing with every bite. “Hmm. These are pretty good,” he says through a mouthful of food. He chases after her. “Can I have another one?”

Wren throws her arm around me, laughing. “You’ll get used to us,” she tells me.

We round the corner and step into the kitchen. Relief floods me as the noise cuts down by half. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes briefly.

Wren drops her hand away. “You okay?” she asks. “You seem inundated. I know we’re an obnoxious bunch, but it’s all in good fun.”

I squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry,” I say. “It was a little bit of sensory overload in there with the T.V. on and everyone speaking at once. Sometimes, despite my hearing aids, it’s hard to distinguish where sound is coming from, and with so many people, it’s hard to lip read.”

“Gotcha,” she says. “I used to date a guy who was hearing impaired. Biggest,hairiestballs I’ve ever seen.” She takes a big gulp of her beer, shaking out her hand. “I’m not sure how he could even walk straight and was convinced he was fathered by Bigfoot. He tried to deny it, but that shit wasn’t natural, you hear what I’m saying?”

I cover my mouth, laughing when Curran marches in with Tess and Declan. “Would you like some wine?” Declan asks.

He barely looks my way. I’m not certain he’s talking to me.

“Melissa?” he asks, handing me a glass.

“Um. Sure,” I say. “Anything is fine.”

I start to ask what Tess needs help with when Curran taps my shoulder.Hey, Melissa. Glad you could come, he motions.I hear you and Declan are going at it like gorillas in the fucking mist. Good for you.

My eyes fly open as I slowly look back at Declan, torn between laughing and curling beneath the nearest cabinet. He glances up as he tops off my wine. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

I don’t answer, because Ican’t, especially when this tiny older woman steps in from the garage. I straighten, unsure how to respond knowing she’s Declan’s mother.

Curran answers for me. “I just told her that I’m glad you’re doing it like gorillas. Oh, and that she could spend Thanksgiving with us.”

“Curran!” Tess screams, but it’s the little old lady’s slap upside his head that reddens his face.

“Get back in the family room before your mother kills you,” Tess says, shoving him in front of her and leading him out of the kitchen.

“Sorry, Ma,” Curran calls over his shoulder, even though it’s clear that he’s not.

---