Page 57 of Feel Me

“I know,” he says. “She was so quiet, I wasn’t sure if she was listening or if I was even getting through.”

“It looks like you more than you broke through, Declan. You touched her heart.” I smile softly. “Look at the way, she captured you. She probably spent the entire meeting studying your face.”

“Maybe . . . Man, this kid has talent. If she’s not thinking about being an artist, she should.” He rubs his jaw, but it’s in that way he does it when something’s bothering him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just . . .” His attention returns to the picture. “This was really sweet of her, but I’m not sure why she did it. I swear to Christ, every time I have to tell her something about this damn case, it’s like I’m pushing her away and closer to her breaking point.”

“She’s fragile,” I agree. “And she’s been through too much in her life. But that has nothing to do with you.” I kiss his cheek. “If anything, she sees you as one of the few good men left in her world.” I smile fondly. Rosana not only drew a perfect likeness of Declan, she captured the strength he emanates, and flawlessly replicated the larger than life hero everyone sees. All he needs is a cape, waving in a makeshift breeze. “You earned her trust,” I whisper.

She’s not alone. Declan has capture my heart, although I’m not certain he wants it. I don’t mean to sound negative. It’s just that as intimate as we’ve been, there’s a part of him he keeps tucked away from me. I feel it, every time we’re alone. It’s the reason I haven’t told him I love him.

He scrutinizes the picture, growing distant. “I don’t know how.”

“You gave her a voice,” I say. I’m trying to keep him with me, but he seems to drift further away. It makes me sad.

Today has been exceptionally rough so I focus on the good things between us and how he’s sitting beside me. “You made her feel like she mattered?”

“She does matter,” he interrupts, as if afraid I doubt him.

“I know, Declan.” It’s something we both believe down to our souls. “But she likely hasn’t always felt that way. You listened to her and proved you’ll stand by her, even when her own mother wouldn’t. People like Rosana, who are hurt by those who should most love them, don’t easily let down their guards. But she did so with you.”

I realize I’m counting myself as among those people, likely because my encounter with Dad had left me so raw.

“I’m just doing the job,” he says.

His modesty is sweet. When I first met him, I couldn’t get over how arrogant he seemed and couldn’t stand him because of it. As I started seeing him in action, I realized his arrogance was rightfully earned, not that it made me like him better. But the more time we spent, the more I saw that he’s simply confident, a man who prides himself on his work and steels himself with an endless source of strength. Declanisthe next big thing. I just didn’t realize it right away.

“You’re not just doing your job,” I say gently. “You’re proving to Rosana that you genuinely care about what happens to her. That’s the hardest part about working in SACU, you end up giving your heart, even when you trying not to.” I pause to take in the man who’s become my world. “I’m so proud of you, Declan.”

He lowers the picture onto the table, keeping his full attention on it. But then something shifts in his stare, making me think his thoughts aren’t solely on Rosana or the gift she gave him.

I skim my fingertip over his temple where his hair is too short to curl. “Are you all right, love?”

He winces when I refer to him as “love.” It’s clear that’s not a word he’s ready for.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he says, his voice so low I struggle to make out the words.

Fear trickles down my spine, I’m not sure what he’s going to say. “What is it?” I ask.

He bows his head as if giving a great deal of thought to what follows. I’m certain he’s ready to move on until he angles his chin to face me. “Would you like to spend Thanksgiving with me?”

My hands fall away from his arm. His question catches me off guard, not because of the holiday, I realize it’s coming, but because of his demeanor. He doesn’t seem happy.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he adds. “I just don’t see myself spending it without you.”

I know what he means, but with my father so sick, I wasn’t planning on doing much. “I’d have to see how Dad’s doing,” I say. “It’s only been us for the holidays since my grandparents passed away.”

He lifts my hand and kisses it. “I’d like him to come as well. We’re having it at Curran and Tess’s house this year. Their house and Wren’s are the only ones big enough to hold us.”

“Your family will be there?” I ask carefully. “All of them?” He nods, his demeanor uncharacteristically solemn. But I suppose this is a big deal. “Will your mother be there as well?”

“Yes,” he says.

Whoa. Okay.

Declan has been very careful when it comes to our relationship. He holds back in public, but I do as well. We both have a lot on the line holding the positions we do. It’s bad enough everyone thinks my title was handed to me because of my father. The last thing I want is for people to think I’m sleeping with the acting D.A. to hold onto my job.

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