Page 54 of Feel Me

This time, it’s my turn to frown. “What do you mean Tess was right?”

I expect to find Curran smirking like always, and maybe having a laugh at my expense. But he’s not doing either. His tone is as serious as his expression. “She said she knew you were going to fall for Melissa. That anytime she was around youz, it was like she was intruding on something personal.”

“She said that?” I ask. Curran can be full of it. But he’s not joking now.

“Those were her exact words,” he says, polishing off his beer. “Guess she knew what she was talking about.”

Guess she did.I rub my eyes.God, kill me.

“You’re in trouble aren’t you?” Curran asks, like he knows exactly where I’m coming from.

Hell, maybe he does. “In more ways than I can count,” I admit.

“Did you knock her up?” Angus asks.

“No, Angus,” I groan.

“So run, man,” Angus insists. “Run while you can before you’re engaged to a woman who hates your guts . . .”

“Molly doesn’t hate your guts,” I counter.

“. . . And you stop having sex for years,” he continues. “I’m in hell, Declan. Every day I wake up in hell.”

“Angus, why are you and Molly still together if you don’t even like each other?” Seamus asks, throwing out a hand. “You’ve been engaged for like, two decades now. Cut her loose and walk away.”

“She wants to have five kids,five,” he says, ignoring Seamus. “I told her that unless it’s immaculate conception that shit’s not going to happen.”

I stand and head into the kitchen to dump my trash when I realize what time it is, and because I don’t want to hear Angus bitch about Molly. This thing between him and Molly is exactly what I don’t want. They’re with each other because they think they should be, stuck in a place neither wants to be, holding each other back from what they could have and accomplish.

Son of a bitch.

“Thanks, Kill,” I tell him, trying to shake off what I’m feeling. “And tell Sofia I said thanks for having us.”

We exchange goodbyes like brothers do. I expect to make a quick exit, kicking myself for bringing anything up. I should have just sucked up what I’m feeling and dealt with it. Now, my head is spinning with a slew of garbage I could have gone without.

It’s like all the good Kill, Curran, and Finn have, doesn’t make up for all the shit Angus deals with. Maybe because I think Angus is more the norm?two people together because they think they have to be. That’s not love. That’s not real. It’s exactly what my parents had and the exact same thing I’ve spent my life avoiding.

I’m almost to my car when Curran jogs down the steps. “Hey, Deck, wait up.”

“Curran, I have to go.”

He ignores me. Wow. There’s a shock. “Why you being a moody bastard?” he says when he catches up.

“I’m not,” I practically snarl.

He leans back on his heels. “Yeah. It shows.”

I’m ready to get out of here, walk away and not look back. But I’m headed to Mel’s and straight into everything I can’t come to terms with.

Curran makes it clear that he’s not going anywhere. I take a chance, seeing how it’s obvious I’m not dealing well with this thing on my own. “Look, I might be in over my head with Melissa.” I sigh. “I like her. With the exception of a couple of nights, we’ve spent every night together.”

“Since when?”

I give it some thought, wondering where the time’s gone. “A few weeks.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” He motions to the house. “Better than the shit Angus is putting up with by staying with Molly.”

“I don’t know if it’s any different,” I say.

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