Page 52 of Feel Me

“Fuckyou!” Angus yells again as the replay flashes across the screen.

“In that bottomless crater you call a stomach,” Killian yells back at Finn. He reaches for another chip. “They were gone by half time. It’s my fucking house and I only had one.”

I shake my head, laughing. “How does Sofia put up with him? Hell, with any of us?” I’m not kidding. Every time we come over Sofia makes a ton of food and doesn’t stick around to enjoy it.

“She likes taking care of us. It’s kind of her thing,” Killian says. He finishes swallowing, the corner of his lips tugging into a smile. “She wants to start trying for a baby.”

“No shit,” Curran says, taking a pull of his beer.

“Fuck you!” Angus hollers yet again.

“Angus,” I yell. “Get over it, man. We’ll get them next time.” I turn back to Kill. “You think you’re ready?” Christ, he and Sofe are so young.

“We’ve known each other forever. I think it’s time.” He grins in that way he always does when he talks about Sofia, exactly like he has since they were kids playing on the street. “When I picture me and her years from now, it’s always with a houseful of kids running around. I want it, you know? I told her we could, but first I want to go to a few places we’ve never been?the islands, Ireland, Italy, countries we won’t necessarily be able to see if we have babies right away.” He shrugs. “I want to spoil her some. God knows she deserves it,” he says, motioning to the mess in front of us and what remains of the food she prepared.

“You’re so fucking whipped,” Seamus says, digging through the dip like he’s afraid Sofe will be insulted if he doesn’t finish every last morsel.

“Nah,” Curran says. “He just knows he has it good.”

This is what I struggle with. I know that Kill and Curran mean it when they say they love their women, Finn, too. That doesn’t mean I believe in love.

At least for me.

Maybe.

Fuck. How did I fall into a relationship?

It’s not a good time to ask, not with Seamus whoring around with every single woman in Philly, and Angus who only wishes he could whore around. Angus has been engaged for twenty non-fucking years and he’s a miserable bastard.

Christ. I’m not sure what I’m feeling with Mel is real or something I think I’msupposedto feel. Either it’s too soon, or it can’t possibly be normal. Davies from Arson was flirting with her the other day in the hall. She politely declined his offer to dinner as I approached, her eyes widening when she caught my less-than thrilled expression. Can anyone blame me? The way he leaned into her, how he couldn’t keep his eyes off her ass when she walked away, it took all I had not to shove the Sexual Harassment policy in his face and yell at him to get back to work.

Ever since we started sleeping together it’s like every single guy?and even some of the married staff want more than her professional advice. It’s not like I’ve never noticed men watch her bounce down the hall, or stare a little longer than necessary, but lately it’s like these horny bastards can’t get enough of her.

“So you and Sofia are good?” I ask Killian, ignoring the tension claiming my shoulders.

“Real good.” He cocks his head. “Why?”

I should let it go because I don’t want to piss him off or disrespect his marriage, but this jealousy shit isn’t like me. At least, it never used to be. But here it is, eating at me. It has to get better over time, and who better to ask than Kill and Curran who are sitting right in front of me.

“No big deal,” I say, turning it around on him. “I just know for a while there were a few guys at the gym checking her out.” I shrug. “Just wondering if that changed when you got married.”

I normally don’t probe my brothers for bullshit like this. Kill, who’s pretty laid back, except when it comes to Sofia, lowers his deep voice in time with his darkening expression.

“If you want to know the truth, my ring around her finger hasn’t done a damn thing.”

Seamus polishes off the dip. “You serious?”

“Yeah, I’m serious. All those idiots working out?the same idiots swearing up and down that they want to be the next MMA champion?still stop what they’re doing when she walks by. Oh, and those stupid marketing reps, I’m ready to break them in half. They’re always like, ‘Hey. Where’s your girl, Sofia? I need to talk to her about our new product.’”

“What’s so bad about that?” I ask.

Finn sits down with a plateful of ribs he found in the fridge. “It’s their way of telling him they want to fuck her?Hey, you going eat that hot dog?”

I pass Finn my plate without even looking at him. “You can’t be serious.” At Kill’s stiff nod I ask, “How the hell do you put up with that?”

“I don’t. I threw the last three assholes out of my gym. Sofia called each one back?get this?apologizingon my behalf for overreacting.”

“Oh, hell,” I say.

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