Page 19 of Feel Me

My playfulness dwindles. The way he’s looking at me isn’t in that mocking way he was before. This look is alluring, daring me to get closer, and promising me sweet, sexy things if I do. But that can’t be right. Not when he made it clear he wasn’t asking me on a date.

A knock on my door breaks our eye contact. “Come in,” I say. I’m thankful for the distraction until I see who it is and why she’s here.

“Hi, Declan.” Stephanie’s dazzling smile lights up the room when she sees him. She glances briefly in my direction. “Hi,” she tells me with a lot less dazzle.

She tosses her hair back in a way I’m sure she’s practiced a thousand times. “Detective Melo has been looking for you,” she says, focusing fully on Declan. “Something about the search and seizure. I told him I’d find you.”

Declan frowns. “Where is he?”

She backs away, luring him out. “At his cubicle. He’s on the phone and seems flustered.”

They take off, neither glancing back.

Stephanie barely acknowledged me. Given my position, I expected her to show me a little more respect. It stings that she didn’t though I recognize that like many women who work here, Declan’s mere presence has her enthralled. But the sting is still there, no matter how much I wish it wasn’t.

Stephanie is pretty, stunning even. She reminds me of all the beautiful girls I went to school with, who like her, barely glanced my way. My accomplishments never impressed those girls, neither did my hard work. I tried to be friendly and often gathered my courage to say, “hi”.

Aside from a few obliged “hellos” back, they didn’t offer much more. Instead they’d stare at my mouth, unable to get past the way I spoke. They didn’t understand, and probably didn’t care, that I speak how words sound to me, and despite the intensive speech therapy I received, this was my normal.

I didn’t know I had a speech impediment until I was told that I did. But it wasn’t until I recorded my voice one day and played it back that I realized how different I spoke from the hearing world.

The experience was startling, and made me self-conscious. It took my dad reminding me that even though I speak differently, it doesn’t make what I say less important.

I wanted to believe him, and in a way I still struggle. Sometimes, it’s really hard. Whenever I meet someone new it’s like I have to prove there’s more to me than just my voice.

With a sigh, I throw my purse stuffed with smutty books over my shoulder and shut my office door behind me.

“Going to court, Melissa?”

I turn around smiling as Detective Valencia Hernandez hurries down the hall. Her willowy frame and lovely face suggests she’s more model than investigator. But most models can’t throw a perp twice her size to the ground.

“Hi, Valencia,” I say when she reaches me. “I need to take care of some things courtside, but then I’ll be back. Is there something pressing you need?”

She smacks my arm with the file she’s holding. “Of course I need something. Don’t I always need something from you, girl?”

I laugh, because yes, she always does. “How can I help you?”

“It’s about Betty Clemson. She can’t afford counseling and is pretty damn traumatized from the armed robbery she witnessed.”

I try to place the name. “Is that the case where the owner was shot at point blank range?”

“In the face? So his brains splattered the display case behind him? Yup. That’s the one.”

That poor man, and poor Betty, too. “Ask Debbie to call her. She can fill out a services form over the phone for her. I’ll review it, fax it through to the state, and ask them to put a rush on it.”

“Thanks, Melissa.” She cocks her head. “You okay? You seem a little bummed.”

“I’m fine. Just busy.”

She gives me her all-knowing once-over. “Girl, all you do is work. Come out with us to happy hour tonight. You look like you could use a drink and a little fun.”

“I can’t tonight,” I tell her. “I’m meeting with Declan after hours to discuss a case we’re working on.”

“Oh, I see,” she says, laughing.

My smile fades. “It’s not like that.”

“Uh, huh.” She gives me another smack with her folder and walks away.

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