Page 87 of Crave Me

CHAPTER 20

Wren

It takes a long time for our breath to settle after we finish, and even longer before we stop kissing. Evan smiles softly as he pulls away, his hand gliding from where it’s on my face to my hip as we roll onto our sides. It’s one of my favorite things he does: touch me like he needs to, like he needs me. That’s a good thing, seeing how I need him, too.

Tonight is slightly different. Instead of the familiar warmth in his stare that follows our lovemaking: a seamless mix of fire and sweetness, the anger lingers.

I told him what happened at the diner. He hired a private investigator to track down Bryant. Curran took his side, so did my brothers, but the resentment that remains isn’t just about me.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nods, but he already knows where I’m headed. “Was that your mother who came by today?”

“It was.” His hand pauses over where it’s slid to my lower back, the motion is brief, but I notice anyway. “Hilliard is her fourth husband’s name.” He shrugs. “If she’s still with him.”

“She’s been married four times?” He nods. “What makes me think she stopped being your mother long before that?”

“Probably because she never was,” he admits.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I inch closer, causing my breast to tilt against his chest. “I’m not one to push.” I smirk when he raises his brows. “Okay. I am. But only when it matters, and this seems to matter, even though you don’t want it to.”

I free my hand to stroke his face. Does he have any idea I would do anything for him? I want to tell him, but words, those that mean anything, have always been tough for me to share. I’ve told him as much, but I can’t be sure how much he really understands.

“You haven’t been the same since you saw her,” I remind him.

“I don’t mean to act differently,” he says. “Especially around you, and I don’t want my issues with her to affect us. But if I’m being honest, I’m more concerned about you.”

“I know. That doesn’t mean we should ignore everything else.” I scan his features as my brain hooks onto something he said. “What makes you think she’ll come between us?”

“Because as much as I’ve wanted to let go of my past, the bitterness I feel toward her remains.”

“I think I know what you mean,” I say. I smile softly, not that there’s anything to smile about after such a shitty day. “I’ll tell you what. You tell me about your mommy issues, and I’ll tell you about my daddy ones. But if you don’t want to, that’s okay, too.”

I’m trying to lighten the mood, but he sees right through me. “It was bad for you, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” I answer truthfully. “But I get the feeling it wasn’t a good time for you either.”

I shudder, but it’s not from the cold. The thought of anyone hurting Evan makes me want to come out swinging and scares the daylights out of me. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to know.

He reaches for the blanket at our feet, and tucks it around us. That’s what Evan does, seals me with his warmth and his heart, even when I try and pretend I don’t need it.

“I’ve never spoken to anyone about this,” he says, almost like he’s thinking out loud.

“Why?” I place my head on his chest when he rolls onto his back, seeking comfort from our closeness.

“There’s been no one to tell,” he explains. His voice fades. “Until now.”

“Same here,” I admit. He tilts his head as if unsure whether to believe me. He knows I have a minimum of ten people on speed dial I could pour my heart out to. But I wouldn’t because it’s not something I do. But if I did, they’d be here.

Evan doesn’t have a long list of people. He has me. And the way I feel, he always will.

“I didn’t go to boarding school by choice,” he begins. “My mother sent me away when my father fell ill.”

It feels like someone just slapped me in the face. “Jesus, why?”

“Because she finally could, and he was too ill to stop her.” He rests his temple over my head when I scoot up, his voice casual despite the pain.

“My father was twenty years my mother’s senior and was never in optimal health,” he says, keeping his voice quiet. “When he was eight, he was diagnosed with leukemia. The aggressive treatment left him weak and his body never fully recovered as you can imagine.”