Page 78 of Inseverable (Carolina Beach)

He shakes his head. “Not really. You know, the south gets a bad rep because of shit like this these hillbilly rednecks pull. It’s not right. Here’s Mace, an educated man headed for law school and a genuinely good guy. But that prick couldn’t see past the color of his skin. What got me more though was his kids were watching and learning from him, you know? He was teaching them that anyone who’s different doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect.”

I sigh. “With luck, maybe they’ll learn better when they’re out on their own. Take Emery Madison. For all he claimed he wasn’t racist, he was, terribly so. That boy hated anyone who wasn’t white. But after a year at Columbia, his eyes opened real wide, and he changed for the better.”

“Yeah?”

I nod and lift my binoculars to do another sweep again. “His sister told me he’s marrying a sweet Asian woman next fall and that his best man is a Latino guy he roomed with for four years.”

He shifts, adjusting his weight. “Well, shit. Maybe there’s hope yet.”

I smile as I adjust my binoculars again. “There’s always hope, Hale. You just have to believe.”

We sit in silence for a beat. But it’s okay since I’m comfortable around him, and because I know this silence isn’t due to his anger. All the negative emotions he returned with are fading, just like those flock of gulls heading into the ocean.

“How’s it going with Callahan?” he asks.

There’s that smile of mine. And to think all it took was a name. “Good. Real good. He and my daddy are out deep sea fishing today.” I reach for my bottle of water, but wait before taking a sip. “They’re bonding in ways I can’t with him and I think it’s been great for both of them. Just last week Daddy took him to that veterans group he belongs to while I was at work.”

“How did Callahan feel about that?”

I think back to how he quieted when Daddy first approached him, and how it took some time to convince him. Daddy was really good about it, trying to be supportive and encouraging. I was almost surprised Callahan agreed, seeing how private he is. But ultimately, I think he went because of me. Which is one more reason to love him.

“He didn’t want to go at first,” I admit. “When he first came back from war, he was encouraged to be part of a veteran’s association, but he was still raw from the experience.” I shrug, not wanting to say too much. “It wasn’t a good time for him to connect with strangers even though they were already connected by war.”

“I can understand that,” Hale says. He reaches for a bottle of sunscreen to add another coat to his legs. “Did you tell him you’re leaving in September?” My fading smile is enough of an answer. He tosses the can back into the bag. “Shit, Trin. Why haven’t you told him?”

“It’s never been a good time.”

“What the hell do you mean by that? Y’all have been inseparable.”

I reach for a towel to wipe the binocular lenses, giving me a moment to form my words so they don’t sound like the pitiable excuses they are in my head. “At first, I was just working on getting to know him. He had such a wall up, I was worried if I told him I was leaving soon, he wouldn’t give me a chance to know him.”

“And now?”

“Now, it’s almost worse,” I confess. “He talks to me a lot, Hale. Tells me things he’s gone through that I don’t think he’s ever shared with anyone else.”

“You mean about his time in Iraq?”

“Among other things,” I answer quietly. “He’s had a hard life. When he talks about his past . . . I don’t know. It’s like it leaves him worn. It’s therapeutic, I’m sure. But it’s no less exhausting emotionally. I don’t want him to shut down—not when he doesn’t seem to have anyone else to share these memories and feelings with. That’s why I’m so glad, he’s connecting with my Daddy, and some of those vets he’s met, too.”

“But they’re not you,” he points out. “Have y’all even known a night apart yet since your first?”

I shake my head.

“Damn, Trin,” he says quietly. “You need to tell him.”

“I know, and I’ve wanted to—believe me I have. But it’s like every time I see him, he’s so happy to be with me, like I am with him. I wait, promising myself I’ll tell him once we’re settled. But then we’re talking or well, doing other things, and the moment never comes.” I pull out my ponytail and shake out my hair, more to relieve some of the tension I’m feeling. I try to gather it again, only for my hands to fall to my sides, my frustration growing under Hale’s scrutiny. “How do you tell someone who’s become everything to you that you’re leaving soon and won’t be back for two years?”

“I don’t know, Trin. But you have to find a way.” He leans over the rail. “Excuse me, sir?” he calls down. “Would you mind setting the blanket a little farther from our station? Thank you, sir. Much obliged.”

He resumes his pose next to me, but it’s that stiff one that demonstrates he’s disappointed in me and all I have to say. I can’t say he’s alone.

“I’m not going to pretend that what you have to do is easy,” he continues. “And I’m not going to tell you things will be fine because I don’t know if they will be. But regardless of the outcome, you owe Callahan the truth, and you owe it to him soon. How good he treats you? That man is head over heels for you.”

My lids close briefly. Hale doesn’t realize how in love I am with Callahan. For the life of me, I don’t know how I’m going to survive without him. But when I say I’m stuck, I mean it. He’s never leaving the U.S. again, not after the trauma he experienced during his time in the service. He’s finally home. How can I ask him to leave the security and peace he finally has to follow me to an impoverished country somewhere across the globe?

“I have to tell you, even though your situation is far from perfect and less than ideal. It’s good to see you with someone,” Hale says, interrupting my thoughts. “’Bout time you picked a decent one from the bunch.”

“Excuse me?” I ask, my brows lifting over top of my sunglasses. “What do you mean from the bunch? There was no ‘bunch’. There was one. Unless you count seizure boy and eraser dick.”

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