Page 37 of Inseverable (Carolina Beach)

As I sit here now, watching them, the hurt I felt that day fills me once more. These were two people I trusted with my love—two people I’d given my life for. That heart I wear on my sleeve didn’t appear overnight. They knew as much, and didn’t think twice about slapping it out of my hands.

Despite how close we were, Hunter and I didn’t see much of each other when we returned to college our senior year. I was struggling to complete my undergrad requirements at Princeton, and he was finishing up his degree at NYU. He was supposed to pick me up on his way home to Kiawah for Christmas. But having missed him so bad, I couldn’t wait to see him, and took the train to surprise him the morning after my last final.

I used the key he’d given me and very quietly snuck into his apartment, and into his room. Blond hair poked out from the top of the thick comforter I’d bought him as a gift. I thought it was him, until I pounced and someone else startled beneath me.

Blakeney—the same girl who I’d shared countless memories with—the same girl who was texting me pictures of bridesmaid dresses to wear at my wedding!—was in bed with the man I’d planned on marrying.

“We’re going to make beautiful babies together,” Hunter had told me just the week prior. “All you have to do is say yes, and come graduation, we’ll have the biggest wedding Kiawah Island’s ever seen.”

It’s what he promised. But he never meant it. Not when my friend was staring back at me with those wide pretty eyes that used to sparkle every time she saw me.

I couldn’t move or sense anything around me. Because this wasn’t supposed to happen. These two people I loved with all my heart couldn’t do this to me. But as Blakeney gathered the covers around her bare breasts, and pushed away the messy strands of her bed-tousled hair from her perfect face, I knew how wrong I was.

I crawled away and stumbled onto the floor, her stare glued on mine as she frantically shook Hunter’s shoulder.

He rolled onto his back. “What, babe?—Oh,shit,” he said, sitting up with a jolt.

I broke down, barely able to think straight. But I managed to ask what I needed to know. “How long has this been going on?”

Neither spoke. Hunter simply watched me, not bothering to explain or even apologize. By then, Blakeney was crying, too. She stayed in the bed, making no attempt to stand, or reach for me, or, or?

“Trin,” she simply said, half a second before I bolted from the apartment.

“Trin?” Hunter says. His voice is soft, but bringing me back to the moment in one forcible pull. “Say something, will you? It’s been too long, pretty girl.”

“Pretty girl”, huh? Well, based on the way he’s taking in my face and a whole lot more, maybe he means it. Not that it matters anymore.

That familiar twinkle lightens his green eyes, making it clear he remembers more than our talks. I gave this young man everything: my affections, my attention, and handed him my virginity without much thought, convincing myself he was the one. But as I see him now, I don’t really notice his handsome face, don’t care much for those long lean muscles that bulge his arms and shoulders, and could care less about that twinkle. To be honest, he can shove that twinkle clear up his ass.

As much as I thought I loved Hunter, I know now what I felt was about as real as he had been. And he was a phony, lying snake.

“We want to do right by you, Trin,” he says. He chuckles. “Blakeney and I aren’t even together anymore. We haven’t been for a long time.”

To me it makes no difference one way or another so I don’t respond. “We are real sorry,” he adds.

“About which part?” I ask.

My question seems to catch them off guard so I continue. “Is it the lying?” I ask, looking at Blakeney. “Like when you used to tell me you didn’t know what I saw in him. And that I was too good for him. And the way you’d make fun of how his hair always had to be just right. Metro-bitch?that was your nickname for him, right? Even though I told you not to call him that.”

My, doesn’t this seem to surprise Hunter. But no, now it’s his turn to get my attention. Fair is fair after all. “So when you told me you didn’t like Blakeney, and that she was dumber than a box of bent nails pulled from the gutter—and about as warm as a field of corpses?I defended you by the way, Blakeney?and that her boobs were as fake as she was, were you lying then? Or were you just trying keep me in the dark?”

“Trinity.” Hunter attempts to interrupt, but I don’t let him.

“You’re not answering my question,” I point out. “Is it the lying? Or are you trying to apologize that it took you this long to say something—anything?”

I don’t want to admit that my phone never left my side for weeks as I waited for him and her to call—to phone and tell me something that could explain why they did what they did—instead of allowing me to beat myself up and blame myself for something I wasn’t responsible for.

The flowers I was sure would arrive never came. Nor did the knock on my door and the pleas for forgiveness. They didn’t bother with an “I’m sorry” then. So I think I have a right to question why they’re saying it now, and to what their apology actually pertains to.

“Is the apology for the sex? Believe it or not, I can look past it,” I admit. It wasn’t all that memorable, after all. At least not between me and Hunter. “It’s the lying. It’s everything you both had to do and say to be together.That’sthe hard part. I understand making mistakes. I’ve made my share, including trusting the two of you.”

My last comment is like a verbal punch they weren’t expecting. Their expressions steel, even though I keep my face and tone fairly neutral. My words aren’t meant to burn, or challenge them to a fight. I’m being honest with them, and myself, betraying me isthe best thing they could have done. It proved how little I’d meant to them and that my heart belonged far away from them.

“So you won’t forgive us.” Hunter’s voice is terse, but I can sense a hint of disappointment.

“I forgive you,” I say. “I forgave you a long time ago.”

They gape at me, stunned, before smiling with as much genuineness as they’re capable of. Blakeney’s eyes glimmer with what may be the start of tears. She reaches out and clasps my hands. “Thank you,” she says. She searches my face, taking her time. “God, I’ve missed you, Trin.”

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