Page 110 of Not Exactly a Small-Town Romance

I nod again.

“Do you want to talk about it? Why it was unwise?” His voice rumbles in his chest. I can feel it in my cheek.

I do. I really do. I want to tell him how it made me feel. How I opened up. How I fell into him and no longer felt afraid of facing anything. That it wasn’t unwise at all, other than knowing I couldn’t have him. That I might eventually need him like I used to need my mother and lose him, too.

Mom was the one who made farm life fun. Who let us sleep in and pretended we were doing inside chores. Who took us out for our birthdays and did more than buy presents, but gave us her presence.

And now here’s Zach, showing me what intimacy can be like. More than touching and chemistry.

Connection. Real, true feelings. I had them. He brought them out.

But he’s not for me.

His hand moves down, and his thumb accidentally grazes the side of my breast.

I flinch.

I can’t do this. I’ll fall right into him.

I’ll let him take me to those places again. I won’t be able to escape a second time.

I jerk away.

“I have to go, Zach. I’m all right. I really am. I’m sorry you saw the subject line. I’m fine. We’re fine. It’s all okay.”

I slide away from him and pick up my shoes.

I don’t look back at him. I know what I’ll see. Perfect, handsome, muscled, irresistible Zachery, his shirt rumpled from where I just left it. On his bed.

So close. So tempting.

But absolutely, completely, the worst possible thing I could do.

I lied about being fine.

I’m most definitely not.

I need to write an email about this. Think it through. Sort it all out.

I need my mother.

Chapter 36

ZACHERY THEDANCINGCHICKEN

I barely see Kelsey that week. She helps with the tree farm events, decorating, organizing, and fitting in like I’ve never seen her do in LA. Every evening when she comes in, she looks better, more energized. Happier.

Despite all those parties, premieres, auditions, and work meetings we’ve attended together, I’ve never seen her glow this way.

I have to admit that she belongs.

I can’t find any fault with Randy, either. Kelsey says she feels safe and secure with him.

Unlike me, who bashed in the faces oftwomen as well as literally seduced her into oblivion instead of talking her through her worries like a proper friend would have done.

I wassomething unwise.

But Friday night brings the big dance, and Kelsey begs me to go as she arranges her hair in a curly golden mass.

---