Page 45 of Takes Two to Tango

''Well..." She tried to smile. It probably came out as strained, as if she had a stomach cramp or something. But it was way stronger than that. Her heart thumped. Her palms sweated. Oddly, she felt like Alice down the rabbit hole. Strange new world where her first love, the man she still yearned for, asked for her heart. “I guess that depends on why you went through Nellie Darby’s underwear drawer.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

BRENT CHOKED ON HIS cheeseburger. After several hacking coughs and a few sips of root beer, he was finally able to stammer, "What?"

"The choking was my reaction, too."

He blinked. "Where'd you hear that?”

"Nellie Hughes, I mean, Darby, said you went through her underwear drawer when you were remodeling her kitchen," Rayne said, picking at her rings and not meeting his eyes.

"What the hell do you gals talk about at those get-togethers?"

Something about the way he said it made her feel small. She hadn't been gossiping. Someone else had given her the info. She had to ask because his answer mattered. She couldn't fathom him actually doing something so perverted. Didn't even want to think about what it meant if he'd done something so creepy. "It just came up."

"What does this have to do with our relationship, or rather lack thereof?"

“I need you to confirm that you wouldn't do something like that. Before we go any further."

She felt him move forward. His elbows appeared on the table. His voice sounded strained when he said, "Look at me."

She raised her gaze to his ice-blue eyes. In the depths she saw the hurt. His pain made her heart pinch.

"Are you asking me this because you think I poked through Nellie's panties? That I rifle through women's underwear like some kind of pervert? Or are you asking because you want an explanation? Because it does make a difference."

She swallowed. "I don't think you're a pervert. But, she said you played it off. Made comments about your favorite pair. Why would you allow her to think it was a way to flirt with her or something?"

“First of all, I told her what happened. I moved her chest of drawers to gain access to some electrical wires. When I pulled the piece forward, the drawer came out and the top pairs fell out. I jabbed them back in there. When she accused me, I was sort of flippant, but I told her what happened. Whether she believed me or not is on her.”

“So you don’t really care what she thought?”

‘’People think what they want about me. Truth isn’t always important, is it? Take a look around the world. Hell, take a look around this room. People believe what they want to suit their own agendas.” His eyes masked his emotions, rendering his expression indistinguishable. She could get no read on him.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments. People laughed, kids cried, Charlie Mac yelled out numbers, but she and Brent were frozen in place. Rayne tried to cipher his meaning, wondering how cynical he'd become over the years. Realizing his words were true. People saw what they wanted.

Rayne turned her head when she heard Henry laugh. He was fine, giggling with Hunter over a face one of the boys at the table made. Boys being boys.

"Why didn't you clear it up? Why let her believe something like that? Why let everyone believe you are less than what you are?" Her words fell between them. It was the heart of the matter. The elephant in the room for fifteen long years.

"That's always been my issue, right? Never show who I am to anyone, except you. I wish I knew why I was that way. Maybe I'm not strong enough to give up the image. It's easier to be the charming Brent Hamilton. The guy you grab a beer with and hide your sister from. Everybody likes that guy. They understand him. Well, most people."

''But you don't deserve to be thought of as ….that.” Rayne embraced the anger that rose in her. She couldn't understand not standing up for oneself. For not clearing the air. For not saving a reputation with the truth. That was the difference between them. Brent liked hiding behind the bad boy because that’s the role he’d assumed long ago, a role people admired in a weird way.

“Maybe not. But I’m not going to beg people to think me decent. Nellie’s a good person. I believe that. But she never liked me for her own reasons. Think that had to do with Katie or whatever. Anyway, I’m not begging her to believe the truth.”

"But you don't give people reason to expect the best," Rayne said, finally pulling an onion ring from the basket before her. "For instance, no one knows you make those birdhouses for the retirement village. Or the squirrel feeders I saw over at Oak Stand Elementary. You are a nice guy, but you don't let people know it"

He shrugged. "People know. It's just thatnice guyis not the first thing people think of when they hear my name. They think about the records I set or the way I didn't put the cornice board over their kitchen sink the way they wanted. Or how I broke their cousin's heart when I didn't call her for a second date. Peoplesee what they want to see, Rayne. I learned that long ago. Why exhaust myself fighting against opinion?"

"For self-respect."

Brent's mouth twisted and he shut down. She'd hit a nerve and didn't know whether to pull back or run with it. Brent didn't say anything else. He picked up his cheeseburger and took abite.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" she asked.

He said nothing. Just glanced over to where Henry sat with his new friends. Then he looked around the Dairy Barn. Rayne wondered what hethought as she ripped open her dressing.

Finally his gaze returned to her."Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable. I’m self-aware. It’s like having a disease or something. I can’t shake it. Maybe I'm still trying to be someone I'm not. I guess I am. If I examine myself, I see what went wrong. Denny. My dad. My hopeless quest to be who my brother was. Deal is Denny died because of who he was. Everyone knows he'd been drinking the night he wrapped his truck around a tree. But I couldn't stop myself from trying to replace him. I was screwed up. Guess I still am."

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