Page 68 of Merry Little Hate Notes

She would know soon enough.

The car ride was a mostly quiet affair after that, as if she knew whatwas to come. Bing Crosby crooned in the background, making me wish more than ever that Holly and I would be together on Christmas Day. I had plans. Plans that included us sleeping under the tree together like we used to, but this time I would hold her in my arms all night long and we would wear matching pajamas like couples do sometimes.

We arrived at Cedar Hill Cemetery before I knew it. I slowed the car down to a snail’s pace, creeping down the long, narrow road that wended around the graveyard. The towering pine trees, their branches heavy with glistening snow, stirred painful memories of the day we laid Christian to rest. It remains etched as the darkest day of my life. I hoped tonight wouldn’t be a repeat.

Holly reached over and rested her hand on my thigh. “He’ll be glad you came.”

My throat tightened as I swallowed. “I’m not so sure about that. I need to tell you both the truth.”

“Truth is good.”

“It’s better when it doesn’t have to excuse a lie.”

“What lie?” Holly whispered, as if daring me to say it out loud.

I parked the car on the side of the road, close to the only other car in the cemetery—a sleek black Aston Martin covered in a light layer of snow. “You’ll know soon enough.” I needed her to come to Christian’s grave with me. I wasn’t sure I could go without her.

Holly placed a beanie on top of her gorgeous head before I helped her slip on her coat. Her eyes danced with something mischievous I couldn’t put my finger on. I figured she would be pensive and demand to know how I’d lied to her before we exited the vehicle. Instead, she was calm and steady. It was unnerving.

After we’d both bundled up in our coats, I exited the car and ran around to open the door for her. As if on cue, the snowfall ceased and the heavy clouds dispersed, unveiling an almost-full moon.

I took Holly’s gloved hand and helped her out of the car, only to pull her flush against me. “Please listen to what I have to say before you make any decisions,” I begged.

She rested her head on my chest. “I promise I will.”

I slid a note out of my coat pocket and placed it in her own. “Don’t read this until I tell you to.”

She giggled. “I guess great minds think alike.” She pulled out a red sticky note and placed it in my coat pocket.

I tilted my head, not expecting this. It was almost like she knew what was going to happen. But how could that be? Maybe I really had changed her mind about me. It gave me some hope. So I took her hand, and together we set off on a path I had only taken once and wasn’t sure I’d ever walk again.

The moon lit our way as the snow crunched beneath our feet. I refused to look at any names on the headstones we passed, dreading seeing Christian’s etched in stone as a permanent reminder that he was no longer with us.

Holly squeezed my hand as if she knew I needed the encouragement and comfort only she could bring.

As we made our way, we saw a figure kneeling up ahead in the distance.

Holly stopped and gripped my arm. “It can’t be,” she whispered.

“What is it?”

“I think that’s my mom,” she struggled to say.

I turned and took Holly’s face in my hands. “Do you want to leave?”

She blinked and thought for a moment. Her delayed response decided for her.

“Holly,” a familiar voice I hadn’t heard in years called with trepidation.

Holly’s eyes widened, though her body remained paralyzed.

“Are you all right?” I whispered while still holding her gorgeous face.

She nodded almost imperceptibly. I dropped my hands as Gloria approached us in a long, dark woolen coat with spots of snow from where she’d been kneeling.

I could only imagine what Holly might be thinking. Seeing her mom here was like a real live ghost come to life. Gloria’s long, shimmering gray hair only lent more to the feel of a paranormal being cautiously approaching us.

Holly turned more toward me the closer her mom got.

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