Page 52 of Merry Little Hate Notes

“I don’t know about that. We were pretty idiotic. How we never got arrested, I’ll never know.”

“I used to wonder the same thing.”

Brandon swiped his golf club on our way to my ball. “If you’d like, I’d be happy to give you private golf lessons.”

Ooh, I liked the sound of private. “Maybe when it warms up, assuming you’re in town visiting.” At that moment, I realized how sad I was going to be when he left after the holidays.

He stopped and let out a huge plume of breath that formed white, wispy clouds in the cold air. “My dad has asked me to consider working out of the main office permanently.”

“Oh. What do you think?” What did I think? Of course, right now I wanted him to stay. I needed him to say all the things he said to me in Aspen, this time when he knew I was conscious. Regardless, this was a big deal. If he stayed and things didn’t work out, I’d be back to avoiding him and my gynecologist. Not like I hadn’t been doing it for years. But running and hiding were exhausting, and I was tired of that life. Also, it would be difficult to know if we could make a go of this if he didn’t stay.

“I’m thinking it’s about time for me to move back.”

My heart did a little happy dance.

Brandon squeezed my hand. “What do you think, Holly?”

“Um ...” This was big. I wasn’t sure what to say. “I don’t want you to do this for me.” That was a lot of pressure.

He tugged me closer to him. “Why? Staying away from you for all these years is one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.”

That was the best thing he could have said. I gazed into his sincere eyes that were begging me to tell him it was okay for him to come home. A lump formed in my throat, realizing how much we both needed to come home. “Well ... it might be hard for you to change my mind about you from North Carolina.” I hoped that came across asPlease come home.Apparently “moving slow” had gone right out the window. It’s hard to go slow when you feel for the first time in a long time that you belong and not just with someone.

Brandon smiled toothily, proving that the orthodontist we’d all gone to growing up knew what he was doing. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Okay,” I tittered. “That’s good. So, you’re staying?”

“Yes,” he said with determination.

“Wow.” I didn’t know what else to say. This was getting real.

“Yeah, wow.” Brandon sounded as stunned as me.

Almost as stunned as I was when I easily tapped the ball right into Santa’s mouth. We seemed so overwhelmed, we barely said anything as we played the last hole. We didn’t even discuss how our golf balls appeared to be swallowed whole by an angry polar bear. The teeth on the thing looked real. Not sure how that was supposed to be festive. But Brandon deciding to move back to Colorado felt very Christmassy, even if it scared me. I couldn’t wait to see what the charts had to say about it tonight. Although after Brandon had left the night before, I’d slept a lot better than I normally did.

“Are you ready to pick out a tree?” Brandon asked as we exited and turned in our golf clubs.

I nodded.

He draped his arm around my shoulders. “I know this is a big step for both of us.”

I felt like lots of big steps were in front of me. “It is, but I’m glad you’re here to take it with me.” Did that sound like,Oh, baby, take me now? Or maybe,Now would be a good time for you to repeat your TED Talk?

“Me too.” He kissed the side of my head. “So, what kind of tree do we get?”

“Uh, a Fraser fir.” It was the only acceptable option.

Brandon laughed. “How could I forget your obsession with them?”

“I wasn’t obsessed. It’s just that they’re the perfect choice. Not only do they have sturdy branches, but their needle retention is superb. And they’re gorgeous.”

“Let’s go find you a Fraser fir, then. Your dad has the tree stand and your old boxes of ornaments all ready to go.”

I stopped in my tracks on the small path lined with lighted candy canes leading to the Christmas tree lot. “He does?” I hadn’t even known Dad had kept our old ornaments.

“I called him earlier and let him know when we would most likely make it back to your place. He really wants to give you back your Christmas. I want that for you too.”

My eyes watered, feeling so overcome by emotion. It had been a long time since my father had tried to take care of me. And the thought that Brandon and he were doing it together made me feel extra emotional. I loved that Brandon would even think to call my dad. After the way they’d conversed for hours the night before, I knew it meant the world to my father. This morning, before Dad left for work, he talked about writing a new book. I wasn’t sure if any publisher would touch him now, but I never thought Brandon Cassidy would fall in love with me, so what did I know? Regardless of whether Dad ever got published again, to see the fire back in his eyes was a Christmas miracle to me.

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