Page 36 of Merry Little Hate Notes

“He could be a cheater or a drug dealer,” I threw out.

Krista pointed at me and snapped. “Exactly. He’s not, is he?”

“No,” I was quick to say. It was one thing to let out his dirty little Katherine Heigl secret, but I couldn’t throw him completely under the bus. I had a feeling, though, that he was about to drop in the Mistletoe Manness ranks. “Speaking of cheaters. What’s up with Joel, Amy, and Rita?” I whispered conspiratorially, even though Amy and Rita worked on the second floor for the midmarket sales team and never used this bathroom. They probably had no idea they were such a huge topic of third-floor ladies’ room gossip. It made me wonder what they were talking about in their bathroom.

Krista’s big green eyes lit up. “Get this—over the weekend, Joel and Amy went to the movies together, and Rita found out. So she tookher revenge by singing ‘I Hate You This Christmas’ for team two’s karaoke challenge on Monday. It’s a pretty salacious song, so she made her poor BDR yellBLEEPevery time something NSFW popped up. But she got her point across.”

My mouth fell open. “Are you serious? What did their manager do?”

“According to my source, she cried and then called HR ... again.”

“Yikes.”

“I’m going to be surprised if those three still have jobs come the first of the year. By the way”—Krista smiled—“your karaoke song with Brandon was cute. But there was no beating out Rylee and Drew’s rendition of ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You.’ Mariah Carey is the queen of Christmas.”

I was pretty bummed about the loss, even though I was still so unsure about the holidays and Brandon. Then we lost yesterday by one question in Holiday Trivial Pursuit. I blame it on the fact that we were driving back from Aspen and it was all I could do not to gasp every few seconds for how snowy the roads were.

“Well, I thought Gerald and I should have won,” Jane snarled. “We were the only ones to stay on key during our rendition of ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.’”

“Except you acted out running over Grandma.” Krista cringed. “It was a little disturbing, Jane. Especially because you looked like you enjoyed it.”

Jane deviously smiled. “It was my way of protesting these ridiculous exercises. If I wanted holiday cheer, I’d spike my eggnog.”

Krista and I giggled.

“I should probably get to work,” I said on that fun note. I’d come in early, hoping to beat Brandon. Being around him was awkward, to say the least. How should I even behave around him now?

“Tell Brandon his wingman is going down,” Jane warned.

“Okay, Jane,” I sang extra cheerfully, laughing to myself. If Jane only knew who she was up against, she’d probably have second thoughts about her takedown. Or ... maybe not. “Have a good day, ladies.” I waved while walking off to who knows what.

When I arrived at my desk, I noticed Brandon’sOfficebobbleheads lined up on the desk next to mine. I looked around to see if I could spot him. He was nowhere in sight, but ... a little bright-blue corner of a sticky note placed strategically under my laptop caught my eye. Admittedly, it gave me some flutters like it used to, knowing what I knew now. But it also freaked me out—that note said he was trying to speak my love language. Could hate notes be a love language? It sounded ludicrous, but I think Lauren was right. Almost every note I’d ever left Brandon was a secret plea for him to pay attention to me. Maybe the notes he had written me were his way of telling me he saw me.

Oh. That hit right in the feels.

But ... the idiot could have just come right out and said it—he’d had years to tell me the truth. Although, if I were being honest with myself, I hadn’t really given him any warm and fuzzy signals that would have invited him to do so. After the kissing betrayal, I don’t even know if I would have believed him if he had tried to tell me.

Did I believe him now?

I wasn’t sure. But ... part of me really wanted to. That had to say something. So, I snatched the note and read,Good morning, Frosty Flake.I saw he was still going with the holiday-themed hate. I found myself smiling, and ... wanting to write a note back. This was a dangerous thought. I knew it would open a door, a door to one of my biggest dreams—Brandon. Could I risk it? My dreams hadn’t really ever panned out. What if I didn’t even like him now?

I supposed there was only one way to find out. It was going to take a little hate. Or maybe a lot.

I reached for my bag and pulled out the merry little sticky notes Lauren had left me. It was good to know Jason hadn’t given them to me. I still wouldn’t have lunch with him, but at least this way I could look at him again.

Staring at the stack in my hand, I double-dog dared myself to be brave and be me again. Before I lost my nerve, I ripped off a red note with little candy canes on it and grabbed a pen. I wrote the first thing that came to mind.

Your wit is as thick as fruitcake batter.

It was a little holiday spin on a Shakespearean insult. But more than that, it was me.

Hello, me. I missed you. And ... maybe I missed Brandon, too.

BRANDON

I WALKED BACK TO MY desk after my call with a manufacturer out of Canada. I was happy to see Holly wasn’t hiding in the bathroom like I feared she might after our extended business trip. The odd way she kept looking at me yesterday had me worried I’d forever missed my chance with her. Worse were the polite pleasantries that were the kiss of death for any relationship. I’d rather she rage at me than talk about the weather and the weird rock formations through the mountain passes. She’d treated me like she didn’t know me at all.

Maybe she didn’t. I had always been cautious around her, attempting to resist my feelings for her. Now I was reaping the consequences of that decision. Damn Christian. I loved the guy, but my loyalty to him had sabotaged what I knew could be the best relationship of my life. After waking up next to Holly on the couch yesterday morning, the full impact of what I’d missed hit me.

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