Page 32 of Merry Little Hate Notes

Freaking out about how easily he could suck me in, I shut the door on him, trying to remind myself he thought I had RGF, and what he stole from me. “Thanks for the stuff,” I called out, my voice shaking.

Brandon chuckled. “I’ll go make the hot chocolate and popcorn. I’ve got a Josh Duhamel movie cued up for you.”

Before I could stop myself, I asked, “Which one?” like an excited schoolgirl.

“Life as We Know It.”

“That’s not for me—that’s for you. You love Katherine Heigl.” He had posters of her on his bedroom wall when we were growing up. Not to say I didn’t love me some Josh Duhamel.

“My tastes have matured since then. This is completely altruistic.”

I could hear the smile and the lie in his voice. Which reminded me—he was a liar. “I might just go to bed early. It’s been a long day.” My brain was saying,bravo, but my heart was saying I should reconsider, that we needed to find out why Brandon had abandoned us. That was a dangerous proposition.

“Only octogenarians go to bed at this time,” he goaded me.

“It’s not a bad life,” I defended my illogical decision. I was nowhere near tired after this conversation. And I was getting hungry. I’d hardly eaten during lunch since I was nervous and did a lot of talking.

“All right,” he said, resigned. “I guess I’ll eat your favorite pizza and ogle Josh Duhamel by myself.”

I giggled. He was a charming idiot.

“Holly,” his voice turned sincere. “I know you hate me, and you have every right to. But I’d really like to change your mind about me.”

I leaned my head on the door, my heart pounding. “Why?” I asked, barely loud enough for him to hear.

“That’s a good question. And I can’t wait to tell you, but I need you in a place where I know you’ll believe me, because I know I only have one shot at this.”

A shot at what?I asked myself, feeling as if I had used up all the surrounding air, which made it difficult for me to breathe.

“I’ll be out here waiting with your pizza and Josh. Don’t mind the overly loud TV making it hard for you to sleep.” It was like he was double-dog daring me to give him a chance to change my mind about him.

I wasn’t surethat was possible. Or ... was I afraid it was?

I think we all know the answer to that question.

BRANDON

I KEPT SNEAKING GLANCES AT Holly curled up under a throw blanket on the opposite end of the couch from me. She was holding her own bowl of popcorn while doing her best to keep her distance. She kept her eyes fixed squarely on the flat screen above the blazing gas fireplace. At least she’d emerged from the bedroom—I knew she wouldn’t be able to resist Josh Duhamel or getting into her pj’s. To her, pj’s and watching movies were synonymous.

I congratulated myself on how perfect that nightshirt looked on her. It showed off her toned, shapely legs and hinted at her curves. Her messy bun only added to the allure. She had no idea how badly I wanted to take her up in my arms. But I knew I had to play it cool.

My mother kept sending me texts, reminding me not to go overboard—said the woman who had not only gone overboard but would set the ship on fire if she thought it were necessary. Mom was sending me conversation starters like,Ask her what book she’s read lately, orDo you listen to podcasts? What’s your favorite one?No doubt she was googling these. At least she wasn’t sending me holiday zingers, as she called them. I hated to admit the conversation starters weren’t terrible. Because the only thing I could think of saying was,Holly, I’ve loved you since I was ten years old. Somehow, I didn’t think that was going to go over too well, considering she thought I wasSatan.

So with some shame, I went with my wingman on this. “Have you read any good books lately?” The words fell clumsily from my mouth like I’d never been around a beautiful woman before.

Holly turned her head my way in slow motion, her eyes already narrowed. “Is this how you plan to change my mind about you?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m looking for a good book recommendation. So, what do you have for me?”

Her lips twitched into an almost smile. So maybe I still had some prowess, or perhaps she thought I was an idiot. Probably the latter. Yet she still responded, “I just finished a biography about Queen Elizabeth II.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes.” She turned away from me and gawked at a half-naked Josh Duhamel. I guess if I was going to be upstaged by someone, he was a decent choice, although if she wanted to see some defined abs, I’d be happy to show mine off. That would probably fall into thegoing overboardcategory.

“Listen to any good podcasts lately?” I blurted, not knowing where else to go. Holly had rendered me incompetent.

Holly laughed but didn’t answer.

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