Page 57 of Merry Little Hate Notes

“No, I’m not pregnant.” Unless Dr. Bergman made a huge mistake at my last gynecology appointment and artificially inseminated me, like what happened to poor Jane inJane the Virgin. Maybe that’s why Dr. Bergman gave me such an odd look at the grocery store last week.Yep, ran into him again. I smiled, amused by the conversation and maybe even a little flattered. This coming from my Jane, not Jane the Virgin, was huge and made me feel like Miss America. But that was not my objective for coming into the bathroom. “Sooo, what’s the word on the street?” Please don’t let it be me.

“I was just telling Jane that Joel says he can’t take the pressure anymore, so he dumped Amy. Her social media posts were so dramatic over the weekend.”

Feeling like I could breathe a sigh of relief, I responded, “What did she say?”

“Over the top stuff like,All I did was love him and try to be there for him.The selfies of her crying were the worst. I swear she staged the one teardrop rolling down her cheek,” Krista complained.

“Has Rita said anything?”

“Not that I’ve heard,” Krista replied. “But I have a feeling Amy will reach out to Rita to renew their pact to annihilate Joel. The guy should just quit and find a new job.”

“Do you think Rita would be amenable to that?” I had to wonder.

“Of course,” Jane growled. “They have sad, pathetic lives.”

“But entertaining,” Krista sang.

This was sad, but true, since their lives clearly entertained me.

“Anyhoo.” Krista eyed me. “What has you glowing?”

I shrugged, 99 percent sure I wasn’t accidentally pregnant. “Just happy,” I stammered, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. “I put up my Christmas tree over the weekend,” I said, like that would account for the glowing.

Jane glared at me suspiciously. “Uh-huh. Are you sure it has nothing to do with your Katherine Heigl–loving account executive? I saw the way he tried to comfort you after your massive Pictionary loss. He was pretty handsy and doe eyed.”

Crap. Brandon and I would have to be more careful. “I think he was the one looking for some comfort after you frightened all the men with your nutcracker picture.” I turned the tables on her so I wouldn’t have to lie—lying wasn’t my strong suit. Unless you count lying to myself for years about only having hateful feelings for Brandon.

Krista shuddered. “It was awfullyrealistic.”

Jane stood up, proud of herself. “Just wait and see what I have in store for the gingerbread house decorating today.”

Part of me couldn’t wait to see it, but the other part of me feared for the collective group. Poor, poor Gerald.

I backed up against the wall, feeling a little unsafe as Jane walked toward the door, staring unnaturally at me through her enormous glasses.

“Have a good day,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me.

“I have my eye on you and the pretty Heigl fan,” she warned. “Don’t be a Rita or an Amy.” She snapped her fingers at me like she was the leader of a girl gang. Maybe she was. Maybe she thought I was in her gang. Yikes.

I swallowed hard. I wasn’t like Rita or Amy, right? Brandon wasn’t dating anyone else. At least I didn’t think so—I’d never asked. I’d just assumed since he loved me and was moving back here to change my mind about him, it wouldn’t be in his best interest to be dating anyone besides me. Also, was I ridiculous for dating a coworker? The boss’s son, no less?

Probably the biggest questions were: Did I want to keep working at Elevate? And what did I want to be when I grew up?

I had a feeling it was time to start figuring that out.

BRANDON

WHEN I WALKED INTO DAD’S office, I expected to see only him. I should have known better when he asked to meet with me this morning for no apparent reason.

“Hi, honey.” Mom captured me right away and embraced me.

“Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?” I reciprocated the hug but was wary of her intentions.

Dad smiled at me, seated behind his desk. The way he smiled said I should be very wary.

“I’ve hardly seen you, so I just stopped by to see how you’re doing.”

I leaned away from her, suspicious. “Doing well.”

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