Page 81 of Only With You

I couldn’t sleep last night. I desperately tried, but every time I closed my eyes, I thought of that stupid asshole and how he was only a few feet away from me.

Even now, it’s all I’m still thinking about and I hate myself for it because I’m certain Landon isn’t thinking about me. I bet he slept just fine.

I should’ve stayed in my room, but I convinced myself everything would be all right. But I jinxed it.

Last night wasn’t as bad as it usually is, but I walked away with a heaviness in my chest I’ve never felt before. And I’m still feeling it.

Grabbing my purse, I slip out of my room and find Gabby and Polly in the kitchen. They’re making breakfast while Bad Bunny filters from the speakers connected to the TV.

“Morning,” Polly chirps. A tired smile graces her face, the hangover still evident in her eyes.

“Morning,” I say to both of them as I step into the kitchen, but halt, noting how spotless the kitchen almost looks. If it weren’t for the things they’re using to cook, it would look immaculately clean. “I’m sorry about the mess. I swear I was going to clean it up.”

“Mess?” Gabby smiles, seemingly confused. “What are you talking about?”

“The mugs and the stuff I left out. I meant to put it up last night, but I…” I push past the thick knot in my throat. “I was exhausted and forgot.”

“No, we made this mess.” Polly rubs her eyes and yawns. “I swear we’re not always this messy, but we’re starving.”

He cleaned up? When? I never heard anything last night and I was up for a while.

“Is something wrong with the flowers in the trash?” Gabby interrupts my thoughts, dragging my focus away from Landon to the stainless steel trash can.

“Huh?”

A small crease forms between her brows and stares at me, bemused. “There are white roses in the trash. I didn’t take them out, but they look perfectly fine to me.”

“White roses? White…ro…ses.”No he didn’t. I stalk to the trashcan and sure enough, they’re in there. Some of the petals have wilted a little, but other than that, they look great. “Oh, they, uh, they had…bugs. Yeah, they had bugs, so I threw them away.”

“Oh, okay.” My answer seems to be enough because she nods. “So where did you get the electric blue and white half moonlobelias?” She points at the table where a small clay pot sits, filled with a bunch of tiny white and blue flowers.

How had I not noticed them before? They’re so bright, they’re hard to go unnoticed.

“Um…yesterday?” I don’t sound sure, but it’s the only good response I can muster.

Thankfully, they’re oblivious to my internal turmoil and my battling thoughts of denial and disbelief, because there’s no way Landon bought me flowers.

24

LANDON

“I messed up.”

Reid’s black eyebrows tweak up at my admittance, but nonetheless, he looks pleased. Probably because after a few weeks, I willingly and openly decided to speak first and not the other way around.

“You’re regretting something?” he asks, his face full of awareness at my admission.

I brought it up in my last session that I held regret once, but aside from that, I never feel guilty. It’s a pointless feeling and inconsequential to hold onto something that has already happened. And I’m very committed to what I say. Once I say it, I never take it back.

Except for Friday. I regret what I said to her before herdateand what I couldn’t say, because there was more that I wanted to get off my chest, but I couldn’t find the words.

Not that I’ve ever been good at saying the right thing. I’ve never been good with giving comforting words or being that person that brings someone solace. That’s why in times of distress, no one comes to me.

I do know how to give the honest truth. That’s something I one-hundred percent excel at.

“Do you want to elaborate on what you’re regretting?”

Leaning forward, I support my elbows on my knees and look away from his curious gaze and peer at the sliver of light that peaks through the blinds and pours onto the floor.

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