Page 43 of Only With You

I don’t have a right to feel the way I do. I have it all. I shouldn’t be struggling. I shouldn’t feel anxious. I shouldn’t be overwhelmed.

“Juls? Are you okay?”

I quickly sit up, embarrassed for my outburst, and run my fingers through my hair, making sure I look composed.

Clearing my throat, I look over my shoulder. Polly and Gabby are peeking through the sliver of the door.

“We heard something and thought we’d check on you,” Polly says. “Are you okay?”

Nodding, I motion for them to come in and plaster a smile on my face. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just ignore what you heard.”

They come inside and stand in front of my vanity. I expect them to drop it, but Gabby doesn’t seem to want to do that.

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but if you need to talk, we’re here.” Her sweet smile makes me feel a little at ease. “Don’t feel like you need to tell us, but we’re roommates and friends. We’re here for you.”

I know she means it, and by the look in Polly’s eyes, I know she’s reciprocating the same feelings. From the moment I met them, they’ve seemed nothing but genuine, but I’m so scared to trust them after Sienna.

She was just so nice and open. I thought we were on the same page, but I should’ve realized that I was always the one sharing and she wasn’t. I was so desperate for someone to really understand and listen to me, I opened my mouth to the first person who gave me a speckle of their attention.

Eloise doesn’t even know everything about me. As much as I love and trust her, I just can’t bring myself to share things with her. Especially the thing about Cole. No one knows except for Sienna.

I don’t feel comfortable telling them everything, especially the thing about my dad and mom. Gabby and Polly have much bigger issues than I do. It wouldn’t seem right complaining about something so minuscule.

But because I’m overwhelmed with Calc, I decide that’s the only thing I’ll share.

“I’m failing Calc,” I sheepishly say, not able to look them in the eye.

I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but Gabby and Polly are smart, especially Gabby. I found out she graduated salutatorian in high school, and is on the dean’s list.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Gabby sits next to me. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Calc is pretty hard, but don’t fret, you still have two and a half months to bring your grade up.”

She stares at me with so much optimism, I almost believe it, but I know realistically that’s not going to happen.

Leaning against the bed frame, I grab my throw pillow and tell them my hard and complicated relationship with math.

“Oh no, not Roberts.” Polly winces, sitting on the other side of me. “I barely made it through his class. I would’ve failed, but Ga—Landon helped me pass.”

“And m?—”

Polly speaks over Gabby, “Just Landon. It was all him. He’s so smart.”

“Landon helped you pass?”

Polly nods and elbows her best friend. “Yup. He’s wickedly smart and math is like his thing.”

The girls look at each other before Gabby apprehensively smiles and plays with the tip of her braid. “So, I have an idea…”

Yellow bright flags wave in my periphery. Warning and preparing me for whatever’s about to leave her mouth.

I stare at her, feeling skeptical. “Okay?”

“Landon could tutor you.”

“I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.” I scrunch my nose, lips twisting in disgust.

She holds back a smile. “I’m serious, Juls. Landon could tutor you.”

“I’m serious, too.”

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