Page 217 of Only With You

“But I didn’t invite you over to rehash that part of your life. I know you want to move on from it and I do too. I’m ready to let it all go. I’m ready to finally start living, but I can’t do that if you continue to appear in my life when it’s convenient for you and act as if the past didn’t happen.”

He scoffs, blinking repeatedly. “That’s not true. I’ve tried so hard to be part of your life, but you don’t let me. I’m trying, Landon. I really am.”

I sigh. “You only came back into my life because you got the call that Mum died. You only ever show up when I ignore you for months. Or when I’m getting awarded for something. I could tell you every single time you’ve shown up and you know that I will. I’m choosing not to because I just don’t care anymore, John. I’m so ready to move on because I’m tired, and I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.” I exasperate, feeling exhausted. “I don’t want to look in the mirror and hate myself because I wasn’t Mum’s or your first choice. So please, just let go because I need you to. I’m begging you, please just move on.”

Pain etches his face, his jaw set, and knuckles stark white. “Landon, please, we can fix?—”

“Dad, listen to him.” Ashton intervenes this time, shocking me because it doesn’t sound or feel antagonising. “He wants you to let go. Listen to him.”

“Can we not talk about this?” he pleads, eyes shining with desperation.

“No, I invited you because I’m ready to say goodbye.” I stand, extending my hand to him. “Thanks for forcing me to move. It helped me find myself.” And the girl I plan to marry one day.

He hesitates, but when Ashton elbows him, he stands and takes my hand, shaking it. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I retract my hand back and after a brief pause, I usher them to the door. John looks at me one last time. Remorse mars his face, but thankfully, he says nothing.

Ashton staggers at the door. His mouth parts, his eyes searching mine. “I’m s—I’ll see you on the court.”

With a short jerk to my head, I shut the door and exhale loudly, finally feeling free. I only let myself revel in the freedom for a second before I’m heading out the door.

It’s Julianna’s birthday today, and I’ve got something planned for her.

“Hey, how did it?—”

I cup her neck, my fingers weaving through the golden silky strands of her hair, my lips pressed against her frostbitten ones. She gasps into my mouth, but the faint sound gets drowned out as I kiss her. Her body collapses against mine, arms winding around my waist, and her tongue explores my mouth.

I lose myself in her, tasting the faint chocolate on her tongue, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume, feeling her smooth skin. I savour it all but not for long because we’re in the university’s library. There are cameras and a security guard roaming the floors.

“Happy birthday, Love,” I rasp against her now warm lips. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Thank you,” she breathlessly says and looks up at me. “I’ll only accept apologies with kisses like this from now on. But don’t apologize. I wasn’t waiting long.”

I grin, kissing her forehead before I let her go, take her hand in mine, and lead her to the elevator. “I’m still sorry. I hate that I’ve not seen you all day, but the game?—”

She snuffs a laugh. “You always make basketball sound like it’s an inconvenience.”

“It kind of is when I can’t see you. I’m ready for the season to be over.”

She laughs as if I’ve said a joke, but I’m serious. “Just a few more months and it’ll be over. Enjoy it, because this is your last time playing.”

I change the subject because this is her day and there are only a few minutes left before it’s over.

“Have you had a good birthday so far?”

“Oh, it’s been the best. I tried the tres leches cake and…” The buoyant lilt in her voice carries as she tells me about her day as we continue up the elevator until we’re on a familiar floor. She also tells me that her parents texted her, but she kept it brief, because she had a feeling it’d end with them trying to get her to go back to California.

I know she still feels guilty and sad about it, but she’s adamant on her decision. Especially since all they’ve done is shower her with gifts in hopes she’ll change her mind. It pisses me off. They don’t understand Julianna doesn’t want that, but I don’t ruminate on it. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure she always feels secure and loved.

“How did it go with John?”

She’s part of the reason I decided to talk to him, and Reid. Otherwise, the noose would still be around me and I’d be chained to the sinking ship.

Aside from asking Julianna to be mine, finally breaking ties with him has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

“Good, but let’s not talk about that right now,” I say as we stop in front of the room I record my music in. “Did you bring the iPad?”

She pats her bag. “What’s it for?”