Page 100 of Only With You

I tame the ball of disappointment that comes out of nowhere. It’s been a while since I’ve felt that emotion. It’s startling how much I feel it and how it’s slowly spreading across my chest and mind.

“Why is it best if we don’t?”

“Because it wouldn’t work out.”

“Why wouldn’t it work out?”

She chews on her bottom lip, fingers fiddling with my jumper. “I don’t share. I don’t think I could sleep with you knowing you’d be sleeping with other people. And no, I’m not judging, do what you want, but?—”

“And you think I want to share you?”

Her pupils dilate and those plump lips part. I can only imagine what’s going through her mind, probably thinking I’ll backtrack or say I’m kidding, but I’m one-hundred percent serious.

The thought of her being with someone else makes me feel oddly annoyed.

“Oh.” Her lips create a small O, then she licks them. “So, this thing between us…what would it entail?”

“Whatever you want it to entail. You set the boundaries.”

I can tell she’s still unsure and despite the interest that piques on her face, she’s still not sold on the thought of us.

“You don’t have to answer now. Just think about it. But don’t feel pressured to do something you don’t want. I just wanted you to know where I stand and what I want.”

“And you want me?” she asks, her voice soft.

“I do. I want you.” Without a beat of hesitation, I reply as another thought comes to mind. “Do you still have our tutoring contract?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do me a favour and look at it before you make up your mind.”

It was a joke at first, but now, I stand by what I wrote. She might be into it, or she might slap the shit out of me. I guess I’ll find out soon.

Julianna slips my—herblack jumper on as she replies, “Okay.”

My breath catches because the sight of her with it on is better than my imagination could have conjured.

My mind becomes a mess as she pulls her hands through the sleeves. It’s baggy on her, the hem right at her mid-thighs, and sleeves dangle past her fingertips.

“Okay,” I breathe.

29

JULIANNA

Your body for tutoring.

That’s exactlywhat he wrote at the bottom of our tutoring contract.

I’ve been staring at it ever since he left yesterday, and anytime I get the chance, only to make sure I’m not seeing things.

Though those four words aren’t the only thing I’m struggling to grasp, but the reality of what we’ve gotten ourselves into.

Saturday night wasn’t supposed to happen, but I can’t sit here and pretend like we weren’t taunting each other. Purposely goading each other until we finally caved.

We were a dark cloud rumbling in the distance that soon evolved into a chaotic storm.

And chaotic it was, because I didn’t expect what happened to well…happen, and to enjoy it as much as I did. I still can’t get over it. I randomly think about the way he spoke and how he treated me. It’s inappropriate, because it happened during my Chapter meeting, while I was talking to Mom, and in class, too.

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