Page 16 of Only With You

He sometimes sings, plays the piano, or the guitar, but never shows his face. When he plays the piano, it seems like whatever is recording him is propped up so it only shows the keys and his hands. When he plays the guitar, only that’s shown and part of his torso.

He popped up on the homepage of my YouTube a few years ago. He had about ten followers and I was one of them, but over the years, he’s amassed many subscribers and now he has over 3.2 million.

He blew up one day after someone commented he has hot hands. I can’t say I blame them. He has extremely long fingers and the top of his sandy-beige hands are veiny.

That’s all the subscribers have going for them, but that’s enough for anyone with a hand kink. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m part of that club.

What can I say? He sings, he plays instruments, and has hot-looking hands, my dream guy.

I revel in the sound of his voice. Drown in the deep, raspy words that meddle into something soft, and as I do, the weight of the world lifts off. Even though I know it won’t last forever, I enjoy it for now, because once I step out of my room, I’ll be back to reality.

5

JULIANNA

Smile.It’s fine. You’re fine.

It’s what I’ve kept repeating to myself since I woke up this morning.

After yesterday’s conversations with Mom and Sienna, I told myself I wasn’t going to dwell on what they said, and I’m going to try to grasp onto the string of positivity. Although, it feels like it’s slowly slipping from my hands because all I can think about is my test grade.

Before we left class on Friday, Professor Ellis said we’d know our grade by Monday. I’d hoped she would’ve posted the grades already on Canvas, the website the university uses to manage classes, but she hasn’t.

It’s nerve-wracking not knowing. When I woke up, I felt like throwing up from how anxious I felt. I’ve managed to calm the uneasiness; still, it lingers around the corner.

That’s why I stopped by the café inside the Student Union and ordered a large frosted caramel latte and oatmeal. I wanted to order a hot chocolate, but unfortunately, those are only seasonal, which is ridiculous. It shouldn’t have to be freezing outside to have hot chocolate.

The barista reads out my total and asks how I’ll be paying, but someone beats me to it.

In my periphery, I spot a long, tattooed arm, and I don’t have to look to see who it belongs to. I can physically feel the life being sucked out of everything by his direly-suffocating presence.

“Cash,” he states, and because of his accent, theasounds likeuh. As most words with anado, when he speaks. “And keep the change.”

“There’s no need for that. I got it.” I hold my debit card up, but the barista seems to be entranced by him, because she takes the twenty-dollar bill.

I don’t get the chance to say anything because he walks to the other end where we’re supposed to pick up our orders.

I stare stupidly, but when I hear someone clearing their throat behind me, I snap out of it.

I’m not sure why he did that, and I highly doubt it was out of the kindness of his heart. I doubt he even has one.

Marching over to him, I inhale a deep breath and peer up at him. He doesn’t direct his attention to me even though I’m clearly standing right in front of him.

“I don’t know why you did that, but I had it.”

After a beat, he finally regards me with his usual stoic expression. The only sign of life is the slight twitch of his black brow, but other than that, he looks disinterested.

“Did what?” He stares down at me as if I’ve burdened him.

“Are you serious? I—whatever. And I’m not thankful,” I say as my name is announced and my order is set on the counter.

My annoyance is almost gone, but the keyword isalmost, because right as I’m about to grab it, the asshole snatches it and walks out.

I’m completely shocked, left dumbfounded, too stunned to move. I gape, staring at him retreat with my breakfast inhis hands. I blink a few times before I finally register what happened.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to commit murder as much as I want to now.

Stalking out of the Student Union, I attempt to calm my harsh breaths, but my anger has sparked and a rage of wildfire has spread.

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