Page 92 of Knocked-Up Bratva Prisoner

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Did you have a flashback from when you were taken?”

“Um…"

“It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. Even though you got out okay, it doesn’t make what you went through any less scary. You don’t have to hold back when you're around me. It’s better to let it out, sweetie.”

She has moved off her chair and is standing next to me with her arms around me. Her wet feet are making a very nice smelling puddle on the floor.

Her gentle nature hinders my ability to hold back my tears. They are now streaming down my cheeks. The idea of Alexei being with someone else is crushing me.

But that’s what people do when they go clubbing and drinking.

That’s the norm, isn’t it?

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s get some champagne and then head over for a neck and back massage,” Tia says. “We have to help you let all this stress go and maybe try and forget all the bad things that happened.”

I nod. I do have to forget.

I can’t let myself love someone like that.

I can’t keep doing this to myself.

I haveno ideahow to fall out of love with Alexei, but for my own sanity, my own mental health, and my own heart, I have to do it. I have to figure it out.

Tia and I have two glasses of champagne before heading through to the massage room. Gentle music soothes me as the therapist works her magic on my tense muscles.

I’ve been stuck at home, trapped inside because my uncle is so worried someone will try take me again, feeling completely and utterly broken—and all the while, Alexei has been out partying and living his best life.

I’m wasting my tears on him.

I’m wasting my heart on him.

***

Over the next few days I spend a lot of time in quiet thought.

I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I feel exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. I hardly want to eat because my stomach is a constant mess. One minute, I’m starving and the next, I want to throw up.

My uncle had a therapist call me because he said I needed to stop wallowing in everything and then I wouldn’t look so pale and miserable.

The therapist explained to me that after what I went through, the stress of it can do really crazy things to your body. Exhaustion is a stress symptom, apparently, and I need to rest my body and mind.

But it feels like more than that.

And on the third day, I decide it is my broken heart.

My lovesick, broken heart is making me literally sick. It makes complete sense.

So I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed, sleeping more than normal, eating less, but trying to eat healthy when I do want something.

Nothing is working, though. Maybe I need to do the opposite of resting. Maybe I need to go out there and meet someone new and fall in love all over again, although I know it is impossible—but I can meet the man of my dreams and start a family and…

…a family.

Oh my word.

No.

It can’t be.

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