Page 44 of Desire

“Leo,su padrewas my first love, but my love for him died shortly after you were born. He wanted nothing to do with us as a family. His work always came first. I found myself being alone more and more often. Elise’s parents invited me over, and I got to know them both well, but your father in particular. With Leo’s father being away so often, I needed things done in the house. Elise’s father offered, and our feelings developed from there. He was a fantastic man, so kind, helpful, and handsome. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t miss him. The events of the night he died are still vivid in my mind. I think it’s why I get so lost in there at times.”

Mymamáwraps her arms around her body to give herself comfort as she speaks. Elise freezes at the mention of her father’s death, and reaching out, I take one of her hands and squeeze it to offer her reassurance.

“Mamá, what do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, Elise.” Mymamástarts to cry. “I tried to stop him from leaving, but he insisted on going.”

“What do you mean, Miss Sofia?” Elise questions.

She is shaking now, and I bring her closer to me. I’m torn between comforting her and mymamá, who’s in obvious distress as well.

“Mamá, can you tell us what you mean, please?”

She nods.

“Elise, your father and I had spent the day together. I thought my husband was away for the night. We were watching television after dinner, and we got into a discussion about the future and what we were going to do because carrying on the way we were was doing neither of us any good. We discussed ending it and staying as far away from each other as possible, but we knew it wouldn’t work with the families being such close friends. In the end, we decided we had to do the one thing that would break everyone’s hearts, leave our partners so we could be together. I’d never kissed him before, but we sealed our pact with a small peck on the lips.” Mymamápauses and takes a deep breath before she continue, “Unfortunately, Leo,su padre, walked in at that moment and saw our chaste kiss. He assumed the worst, despite me protesting nothing more had happened between us. The two men flew into a fight. Elise, your father was trying to protect himself more than anything. Eventually he was pushed over and hit his head on a table. He blacked out for a few seconds, and when he came to, he was ordered out of the house by my husband. I tried to stop him going, but he insisted everyone needed some time to calm down, and he had to speak to your mother, Elise. He left. I wish I’d told him I loved him that night because a few hours later your mother called and said he’d been killed in a car accident. He’d blacked out at the wheel, and a truck had run into his car. I knew it was because of the bang to his head even if it wasn’t in the medical reports.”

The room falls silent except for the sound of mymamáand Elise sobbing. I’m in shock, my own hands shaking as well now. Elise’s father died after a fight with mine. My parents were going to split, and mymamáwas going to be with Elise’s father. It’s too much to take in and try to comprehend in one go. But equally it explains so much, the fact mymamámoved to Spain after Elise’s father died, and the mental health issues she’s had. She lost someone special to her. She must have dreamed of a new life with him, but it was cruelly ripped apart.

“Does my mama know?” Elise eventually breaks the silence.

“No, I decided it was best not to upset her further. She loved your father a great deal. I mourned in the shadows and let you and her believe he died a loving husband to her,” mymotherresponds with a sob.

“Thank you,” Elise manages to answer and looks up at me. I try to think of something to say, but I’ve got no words yet. “I feel sick,” she says quietly, and I stick my arm out and point in the direction of the bathroom. “I won’t be long.” Elise disappears down the corridor with a weak stagger.

“Leo?” mymamáquestions. “Talk to me.”

“My father killed Elise’s?”

“No, it didn’t happen that way. It was because of the stubbornness of men. Elises’s father thought he was fine to drive. I should have insisted he went to the hospital. If anyone is at fault, it’s me. Your father walked out after the fight, Leo, and I haven’t spoken to him since. I don’t know why he’s dragging everything up now. It’s in the past, and too many people have been hurt as a result of the feelings Elise’s father and I had. I promise you we never touched each other apart from that one kiss. God had other plans for my life. I should have remained faithful and not even kissed him. I was wrong. It was all my fault. I lost him, Leo. I loved him so much. It hurts every day.” Mymamáis becoming frantic now. The voices inside her head are taking over, the ones that only began after Elise’s father died. “I want to be with him. I can’t mourn him any longer. Let me go.”

“No.” I shout, and getting to my feet, I go over to her and pull her into my arms. “Mamá, I know it’s painful. It hurts so much to be separated from the person you love. I lost Elise for a long while and what’s happening now is tearing us apart again—I can feel it. But you have to live,Mamá.You have to believe he’s up there watching over you. He wouldn’t want you talking this way, and he wouldn’t want my father doing the same. The lies have to stop. Truths need to come out, no matter how much they hurt everyone. I love you,Mamá. I’m always here for you even if I remind you of the man you hate.”

“I don’t hate you, Leo. You’re my flesh and blood. My son. I’m just tired. I want to go sleep and never wake up. Why does it hurt so much? He died, Leo, and it’s my fault.”

“It’s not your fault.” Elises’s voice comes from behind me. She’s returned from the bathroom, looking broken, devastated. But she gracefully walks across the marble floor to wrap her arms around mymamá. The woman who would have been responsible for destroying her parents’ marriage. “My father made the decision to drive. He wouldn’t have known he’d blacked out earlier. He wouldn’t have realized the danger he was putting himself in. Fate had him in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s also fate that brought Leo and I back together. Maybe it’s righting its wrongs. You say the only thing you and my father did was kiss, and I believe you. It must have been hard on you both as well. I’m not stupid. I saw the cracks in my parents’ marriage. They were more friends than lovers at the end. You gave my father love before he died, and I’m grateful for that.” Mymamálowers her head to Elise’s chest and cries hard. “Leo is right, though. The lies have to stop. I’m glad you told us the truth. Thank you.”

Elise kisses the top of mymamá’s head as she completely breaks down. Years and years of keeping her secret and guilt have taken their toll on the woman I relied on for my strength, growing up. Eventually I call for a doctor to come and see her. He administers a sedative, and she’s taken into care again, for her own safety and security. Losing Elise’s father broke her but not in the same way Simon broke Elise. The two women closest to me are suffering, and I need to step up and be strong enough to support them both, no matter what. The past is just that, the past. Wrongs happened on all sides, and my father was central to them. He may believe the story of infidelity he’s been telling, but he’s wrong. I need to silence his lies now, and then we’ll stop Simon. His web of deceit is tangled and twisted—it’s time for him to face his fate.

Chapter 23

Elise

“Thank you. I’ll be in touch as soon as we land.” I hang up the phone and place it on the table designated for eating on the luxury plane.

My lawyer’s just given me an update on Izzy, and she’s doing all right, which calms me a little. I don’t really know what time it is or what day, for that matter. Everything has blended into one chaotic mess of emotion. What about my father, should I hate him or be devastated by what happened to him? I don’t know. I really don’t know anything at the moment. All I do know is Leo’s mother wasn’t safe to be left alone. Getting her into care was the best thing we could do for her prior to boarding the plane back to the USA.

My lawyer is meeting me at the airport to give a press conference. The first one I’ve done in well over a year now, concerning myself and not the dance show. I’m not looking forward to it. I can’t reveal what Simon did to me, even though I know the lies have to stop. The results from the lie detector test we took at a lawyer’s office in Spain should help along with the true version of events from Leo’s mother. It was traumatic talking to my mama, especially on the phone. It broke her heart to know the truth after all these years, but it couldn’t be helped. In all honesty, I think she knew. I can’t explain why I think that, it’s just a feeling I got. It’s strange how interlinked my family and Leo’s are, and now we’re fighting to save our love while everyone is trying to pull us apart…well, mainly Simon.

A half-drunk glass of wine sits next to my phone. The steward served us dinner shortly after take-off, but neither of us ate much. Leo retired to the bedroom at the back of the plane about an hour ago to sleep while I made arrangements prior to our landing. Tiredness suddenly hits me. Downing the rest of the wine, I go to join Leo. He’s laying in the bed, his breathing even as he sleeps. It must have been hard to see his mother that way and hear her story. Even though it would have meant the end of my parent’s marriage, I wish she and my father could have found happiness together. Fate was cruel that day, not only to me and my mother but to Sofia also. She lost the love of her life before it even had a chance to manifest itself. At least I know what it’s like to have Leo make love to me, to feel him moving inside me, and experience his lips exploring my body. All Sofia will ever have is the fantasy of the man she loved. I don’t blame her for my father’s death. It was an accident. I feel more relieved to know the truth behind it, to be honest.

Goodnight, Daddy, sleep well and watch over Sofia.

Removing my t-shirt and jeans, I place them at the side of the bed and climb in next to Leo. He instantly shifts to pull me into his arms. He’s been my rock through all of this.

I heard him saying to his mother that he feared our relationship would suffer as a result of what’s happening. We’re strong together, though, and I hope we can survive. But no matter what, we need to right the wrongs of the past.

“Are you all right?” Leo murmurs, his voice laced thickly with the heaviness of sleep.

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