Page 43 of Desire

Leo reaches out and strokes down the side of my cheek.

“You think that’ll work, Elise?”

“I hope so. It’s all I’ve got.”

Leo nods and lets me go. He disappears into his bedroom to quickly pack and get his passport. I know he wants me to tell the world about what Simon did to me, but it isn’t the right way to go about this. Leo wasn’t there. He didn’t experience the fists in his face. I can’t stand the thought of making it public. Plus, if I do tell people the truth, I know Simon will come for me and this time probably kill me. I can’t risk leaving Izzy alone. I just can’t. Simon has to win. I see that now. He’s jealous of me, and the only way I can escape him forever is to disappear completely. I just hope Leo will still be with me when that time comes.

Chapter 22

Leo

“Mamá, abre la puerta.”

I’ve been hammering on mymamá’sdoor for the last hour, demanding she opens it and lets us in. I arrived in Spain with Elise in the late afternoon, and my internal clock is all over the place. I’ve had very little sleep due to the journey and the constant worrying, but now I am here, I’m more concerned that mymamáisn’t answering. She doesn’t have the best mental health, and I’m worried about her reaction to my father’s interviews. Maybe I should have come sooner.

“Mamá, es Leo. Por favor.”

“Do you think we should call the police?” Elise asks.

She’s standing next to me, nervously nibbling at her fingers. She didn’t sleep the entire flight either. She spent most of it on the phone trying to speak to Izzy and getting updates from the lawyer on how her application for joint custody is going. Simon has everything so twisted up in court procedures and various legal proceedings that it’s becoming obvious he’s bribed someone, somewhere. Elise has asked her lawyer to hire an investigator to look into it. However, that will take time. Eventually, just before landing, we received word from Izzy. Simon has allowed Elise’s lawyer to speak to her. The little girl said she was all right but sad. Elise spent most of the car journey from the airport in tears. That’s changed since we’ve been standing here, trying to get into mymamá’s house, because now panic has taken over.

Pounding again on the door, I shout once more—this time in English.

“Mamá, open this fucking door, or I’m going to kick it in.”

“Vete,” mymamáshouts at me from inside.

Finally an answer, even if it is telling me to go away.

“I’m not going anywhere,Mamá. I’ve just flown for over eleven hours to get here. You’re going to open this door now. Please,Mamá.I need to know you’re all right.”

I rest my head against the heavy oak frame of the villa. I’d have no chance of smashing my way in, but I would try.

The lock to the door clicks, and I breathe a sigh of relief as the woman, who I’ve worshipped since I was born, opens the door. She looks awful. Her eyes are sunken in—she’s looks exhausted and is obviously not eating. She’s lost weight since I last saw her.

“Mamá.”

“I’m sorry,mi hijo.”

I pull her into my arms and carry her into the villa. The mess inside shocks me. It’s not been cleaned for days, and dust covers the surfaces, blown in by the warm winds on the coast this time of year. Papers and pictures are strewn all over the kitchen table, and after I settle mymamáin her favorite chair, I go over to check them out. Elise is already there, looking through them.

“My father and you?” Elise’s face has gone paler than I’ve ever seen it. Her lips are moving as if she’s saying something but nothing is coming out. Her world is falling apart with the evidence in front of her. “It’s true then.”

“No,” mymamáshouts at us in her heavy Spanish accent. “It’s not. He’s a liar. It’s all lies. He destroyed me once, and he wants to do it again. I hate him.”

“Who?” I take a few steps toward mymamá,but I can’t go all the way at the moment. I’m torn between the emotions of the two women in the room. I’m confused…scared even to acknowledge what all this means.

Mymamáwaves her hand in the air, signaling for us to sit. I do as instructed. Elise refuses and continues to stare at the photos of her father laid out on the table.

“Su padre, Leo. Everything your father said in those interviews is a lie. Elise’s father and I didn’t have an affair. We couldn’t. My faith and both our moral compasses forbade it.”

Mymamáwears a cross around her neck. It’s a sign of the Catholic faith she’s always been devoted to, even when she tried to fit in with my father’s beliefs.

“But you had feelings for each other?” Elise asks as she finally comes to sit with me. She’s holding a picture of her father in her hands.

Mymamánods.

“Si, we did. I’m sorry, Elise, Leo. It was wrong. We didn’t consummate the feelings we had for each other, though, despite having them for a long time.”

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