Page 11 of Desire

The door to the dance studio opens, and one of the other celebrities hobbles out with a personal assistant in tow. The diva rock star screams about needing a spa bath and painkillers before they disappear down the corridor.

Turning my attention back to the phone call, I simply say, “Simon, I’m in the middle of something. Would you mind getting to the point of your call, please?” The words probably come out bitchier than I intended. So much for staying calm, but there’s only so much nasty talk about my daughter I can take.

“And what are you in the middle of?” he replies sarcastically. “It can’t be anything important because you’re not supposed to be working.”

“We agreed I wouldn’t work for a year. That time’s over now.”

“And you had to jump straight back into the limelight, didn’t you? One of the biggest shows on television invites you to take part, and you can’t say no. What about the story we spun of you not wanting the Hollywood life anymore? It’s another example of you trying to make me look stupid.”

Well, gossip travels quickly in the movie industry. I wonder who it was who let him know. If I ever find out, I’ll…

“I’m not after a Hollywood life. The show is being filmed down the road from where I live in New Orleans.”

“But it will get you back on the big screen. You were supposed to fuck off and be the boring little housewife mothering our daughter to death.”

“It will only allow me to return to the big screen if I choose to take up an offer. Besides, the contract you made me sign, giving me full custody of our daughter so you couldn’t hurt her, won’t allow me to work in Hollywood ever again.”

I flip. The calm person inside me has gone. I can’t believe he’s doing this. We’re divorced now. He has no say in my life. As long as I stick to the rules, which I am, he can’t come at me. I won’t let him try to control my life any longer. This show won’t reflect on him in any way, and I don’t plan on doing anything else after this. Appearing on this show is simply a way to improve the confidence he destroyed.

“I’m afraid, Simon, that if you didn’t want me to act or appear in the entertainment industry ever again, you should have stated that in the contract. I can assure you that by appearing on this show, I’m not breaking any of the rules you placed on me. Unlike you, I would never do anything to jeopardize losing my daughter. Now, please excuse me. I have to get back to learning some more intricate steps with my rather handsome dance partner. His hips, by the way, move a lot better than yours ever did when you were fucking me. Don’t call me again. If you do, I’ll have my lawyer contact you about harassment.”

I prepare to hang up, but I can hear Simon growling down the phone. His breath is ragged from the powerful rage surging through his body because I’ve dared speak to him like that.

“You hit me, Simon. You broke my arm, and you did it in front of our daughter. You got away with it, so I suggest you go back to your new girlfriend, who likes to take it up the ass, and focus on the baby boy she’s carrying before she realizes just what a bully you are.”

I hang up and collapse my head forward against the wall. I’m breathing fast, trying to get air into my lungs. I can’t believe I just did that. My hands shake, and I drop my phone, but before it lands on the floor, a feminine hand reaches out to grab it. I jump around, startled, and see Leah Winters holding my phone.

“My ex-boyfriend put me in hospital one night. He’d been drinking heavily and was angry because I hadn’t waited up for him to come home so he could have sex with me. He’s in prison now because he…” She doesn’t need to continue. I know instantly what he did to her that night. I feel every painful moment in my own body. I’ve been there. I’ve had it done to me. She continues, “This job gave me hope and a new life. I know I can be a bitch and shout a lot, but I love it.”

I feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

“Please, you can’t tell anyone about what you just heard. I couldn’t face going to court and having to give evidence against Simon. All I wanted…needed was to get my daughter away from him, so I decided to let him get away with it,” I try to explain the reason for what I did. I don’t know why I feel I need to, but I do. She was stronger than me. She got justice. I took the easier option, and I’ve just been berated by the man who controlled my life with force for over ten years.

“Nobody will hear anything about it from me. You have my word, but on the condition that you won’t leave the show. As you said, you need to do this to improve your confidence.”

“I don’t know. If he’s causing trouble now...” I already want to run for the hills and hide. I’ll need to read the contracts again and make sure there isn’t anything in there that would allow him to take Izzy from me, even if he is claiming he doesn’t want her.

Leah falls silent and looks down at the clipboard in her hand.

“You know Leo Westwood from somewhere?”

I nod.

“We grew up together.”

“Does he know about your husband?”

This time I shake my head.

“Apart from Simon and me, only our lawyers and our daughter know.”

“Would you stay if I paired you with Leo?”

“What?”

“If I pair you with him, the fact you know each other may give you the strength to fight whatever your ex-husband decides to throw at you. Elise, you can’t let him win.”

There are tears in her eyes, which I know she’s shedding not only for me but also for the memories she’s suppressed and had to work through in the past. A fellow domestic abuse survivor. She has everything she wants now but recognizes the symptoms of fear in me. I’ve just stood up to Simon, and with Leah and Leo on my side, I can do this.

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